A
female
age
41-50,
*wetasins
writes:i fell in love with a guy wen i was married and divorced my 1st husband on his insistence. we are in a relationship for the last three and half years in which we had a live relationship. i got pregnant and he wanted me to abort the baby which i refused and in the 8th month of my pregnancy he left me. he came back after my baby was almost 3 mothns old and stated he was missing me and wants to settle down with me. but as he had left me wen i needed him the most i did not relent to marry him and we kept a on- off relationship.den we decided to get married but 1 day my ex husband visited me to see my baby and at the same time my bf came. he had a big showdown and he left me and the city and went away leaving everyone inluding his family. i somehow found out his address and went to visit him. there we realised we cannot be without each other and got married. but we did not have any license or any witness and he promised me 1ce his sister gets married he will disclose our marriage to his parents. now his sisters marriage is scheduled for dec and he denied to disclose our marriage to anyone and asked did i have a proof of it. he said he was playing with me and has had his revenge. now wenever he speaks to me he is always fighting or rude. he jus told me today his parents have selected a gal for him for marriage and he is thinking about it. i asked him wat about our baby and he had said he didn want the baby so why would he think about it but whenever he was with her he was very loving and caring. i love him a lot and if he marries somebody else wat will happen to my baby. he is unwilling to give his name also. my 1st husband is willing to forget everything and acept me and my baby but i don love him and i can never be happy with him. one of our common friends suggested that i should go alongwith my baby and meet his parents and disclose the marriage but i am afraid wat if he denies. he has already informed his parents about the baby and they have denied to accept my baby as their own. wat should i do please suggest me. i am desperate
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divorce, fell in love, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mindy0101  +, writes (23 September 2008):
I suggest that you do not go to his parents! Why beg people to accept you? That will never work and it is demeaning to you and the baby.
I would personally keep my pride and move on! No way, I was going to run after a man that says that he wants to marry someone else- if he wants let him do it!
Finally either see if you still want your ex, or life is ahead of you to marry someone new.
Treat it as an experience, and focus on yourself and the baby.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): wow!
what a dilema!
your boyfriend sounds like a very mean man. if his family have denied the baby then they will definatly deny your marridge.
why are you bothering with him? he sounds like a very selfish and horrible person. he married you and then said it was revenge? how hurtfull!
we always want the badboys. your ex husbund...he seeeems so lovley...he must truley love you in order for him to say he wants you and your baby back. what would you do if he said he was going to marr someone else too? what if your ex husbund finds someone else? would you miss him? if i was you i would lisen to your ex husbund-he seems so nice.
it is very hard in your situation, but i have this feeling that your boyfriend will end up knocking on your door again one day-when that day comes shut the door on him-because his plan of revenge was very mean!
you have a child to focus on and you should put this man at the back of your head. if he cant act like a father then he has no right to be called one.
please, do the right thing and let him go, it is hard i understand, but have faith in god.
consider your ex husbund lol i would!! he truly sounds like he loves you.
love and god bless
friend xx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 i agree with gecko.. your ex bf is being mean and heartless you need to worry about you and the baby not that worthless piece of crap. and dont string along your husband i know he may still love you but if you ever loved him you would do whats right and let him be a free butterfly..im sure you realise what you have done wrong now is the time for doings what right..if you want revenge on your ex bf then take the baby to the parents home and tell them you got married. other than that i would say concentrate on you and the baby and having a happy future with the two of you and one day you might meet mr right and not mr right now.. good luck aphex xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Oh and I forgot, don't let your ex (I mean boyfriend ex) start messing you around. Stand strong and firm, and know what your doing before hand and don't budge from what you set out to do previously.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Well you got yourself into a pickle...
You can't fight feelings, granteed. You can't have what you want all the time.
You messed around your husband and left with someone who knew you were married. Who begged you to do a selfish thing and leave your husband. Why the hell did you do that?!
At least leave your husband because you don't like him anymore then wait a bit. Consideration and empathy for other peoples feelings is always good.
As such, your boyfriend was bad from the start. He didn't care for your husbands feelings, he only wanted sex. No I'm not trying to give you a lecture but sometimes I can't help it. I'm not gonna tell you to go back with your husband because, however fantastic he sounds, you don't like him and I beg of you to let him down softly and gently.
And be close friends with him, or just nice to him for a change.
I think you should cause a stir up. Partly for your own amusement, but to show the baby to its fathers side. At least to accept it - he can't deny it if hes already told them. Don't expect support from them if your not with the babies father. They sound either gulliable and easily manipulated or just a unkind family. Or neither, I could be wrong as usual.
In the mean time, theres not a lot you can do. Raise your child as best as you can, gather support from your own family and find someone you like and want to be with. As I said, be friends with your husband.
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