A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for around 4 months now, i really like him and everything and he says he likes me too but doesnt want to commit to anything, so at first i was a little gutted but then i was cool with that, so we kinda slowed things down because i didnt see the point in going any further if he doesnt want to commit. We still chatted on msn and everything and he told me that i wasnt tied to him. But he also said that there could be a future. So my problem was, i was confused and didnt know what he meant, i just took it as " i like you alot but i dont want you but i also dont want anyone else to have you either"He doesnt tell me that i cant speak to other lads, but when i do, he gets all moody, and recently i have been clubbing more and going out, and when i am out he always texts me to see what i am doing. but he only texts me when i am out. Its really begining to annoy me. I have asked him why he doesnt want to commit he says he isnt in the right place in his head, ive told him ill wait, he told me i am not tied to him. Grrr its too confusing and i am thinking about giving up but i really cant i like him to much!! Help! Please!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): If youve been seeing him for 4 months and hes telling you he doesnt want to commit then JUST be friends. Dont wait for him. Hes told you not to do that....for a good reason. It is a back burner thing. He sort of likes you but not enough to date you properly yet he quite likes the thought of you hanging around....just incase he changes his mind. Hes a bit cheeky. Be mates but look elsewhere for a proper bf x x
A
female
reader, sick  +, writes (24 January 2010):
four months is not too early to commit. there are no rules as to when you should commit. it clearly depends on how deep your relationship is. if you are absolutely sure you've reached that point and he hasn't come around, then he has commitment issues.
i think you know this already.
i could have easily said, leave him... but i'm guessing you are just as stubborn as me. so my advise is to hang on to that relationship, give everything you've got till there is nothing left to give. in the end, you will have had no regrets and he would have known what he had missed.
-- the only way to play the love game is to love genuinely.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): ...run.. he is only waiting to meet a girl who he likes more than you, but in the meantime he wants to have someone.. It could work and you might have a chance, but in my experience when a guy says he doesnt want to commit, means that he doesnt want to commit to you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 January 2010):
 Commit as in moving in? Getting married?
4 months is too early for one to commit. He needs to know you better as a person, your interests, and whether you two could stand each other. There is no point rushing to a relationship if things won't work out in the end. He is telling you he wants to be monogamous. Yes commit to him emotionally, but don't think about a ring, a house, and a car yet. He tells you you are not tied to him, meanning he would not control who you go out with. If you really like him you would not go to clubbing by yourself. Don't let him be the dictator of the relationship. It takes two to make responsible decisions as adults. Instead of focusing on his noncommittment, get to know him and think about what would make you two happy. Guys could soften the blow by saying, "Good things will come," "you are being impatient," "I want to get to know you." so they won't sound like I don't want you, you are not worth me committing to when the opposite is true, it's just timing.
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