A
female
age
36-40,
*ntrygrl07
writes:hi i am a single mom who has been talkin with this guy for a week now and it seems like we are connecting to me. When he found out i had a kid he doesnt want to date me cause of what his ex had done to him. He says he will be my friend with benifits but i dont want that i want a serious relationship with him. But at the same time i am wanting to take what he is offering cause i like him that much. One night we was talkin and he had said well maybe you will like me enough to stay around. Can anyone tell me what he actually means by that and what i do about what is going on? I like him alot and i dont want to ruin our friendship that we have so far.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, trueheartconfused +, writes (14 April 2007):
Hi
The fact that you have a child or
not should not matter at all if he trully loves you.
Did he know about your kid right after he met you ? if not
he is probably angry because you did not tell him the truth
in the beginning. If that's the case, he's probably lost
a lot of trust and respect for you now, that's why he
said those things.
But on the other hand , you've only met for a week, he
probably likes you but I don't think he loves you enough
to hate you . If you really really love him , show him
your love regardless how he treats you or talks to you ,
let him really know you . Hopefully he will turn around
and love you back . If you can do that maybe you still
have a chance with him.
Good Luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): I am seeing a woman who is a single mom and love her very much.I have 2 children so bit different, but becos I truly love her the fact she has a child is irrelevant to my feelings and I have bin more than happy to accept and take on her daughter. He just wants sex - u dont. Time to move on.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 April 2007):
 He is just trying to call the shots here.
He knows you want more than a sexual thing, But he only wants a no strings friendship with sex, so that he can come and go as he pleases.
The fact that he said what he said was to make you think that maybe there was something else that could happen between you, when in fact he has no intention of having a full serious relationship, but is pandering to you to get what he wants. If he makes you think something might happen you will give in, when infact hes only after the benefits nothing else.
This is not fair as you obviously really like him. If hes not prepared to respect you enough to have a proper relationship with you then he isnt worth the bother.
If things are meant to be later on down the line then he will still be around for you, but starting out on a friends with benefits theme to it is not the way to win him over. He will be getting what he wants, but you will be left yearning and hurting. Protect yourself. Keep this as friends thats all he is really prepared to offer you!
You will find someone one day that wants you for the whole relationship, not just the bit parts of fun. Hold out for a brighter future not settling for second best.
Take care x x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 April 2007):
 What he wants is sex and that's it. If you don't value yourself then go for it but if you hold yourself up to higher standards then just be friends but nix on the benefits part.
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