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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend doesn't trust me, I have done nothing to break his trust. So I don't understand why he has such distrust towards me. We can talk about anything else but nothing about his trust in me. He also holds double standards, if he doesn't want me to do something I have to quit, but that rule doesn't go towards him. I really care about him, so I don't know what to do or say to make him trust me and respect my decisions. Help!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, spiritual butterfly  +, writes (6 August 2016):
Trust issues can stem from his childhood or from past hurts in relationships..have a heart to heart about his trust issues and see if he will open up about it..A relationship without trust is very difficult regardless of how you feel about him you will lose yourself and be weighed down every day,,a relationship is meant to enhance your life not feellike a prison sentence..self love and having firm boundaries is needed. Don't let your feelings for him cloud what is right and good for you,a healthy relationship has to have trust both ways
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female
reader, ktmae  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 besides things happen to everyone who hasnt had their heart broke or been cheated on ? I get tired of being accused of others mistakes i refuse ! So my advice would be to talk to him and if it doesnt change do exxactly what im getting ready to do . Kick his butt to the curb . . . We are all better than that . Be strong and sturn when you speak to him . It is abuse ! Mental is sometimes worse than physical. I dont need someone i cant be myself around . Stand up and say this how its gonna be or its done and mean it !
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female
reader, Safia  +, writes (27 January 2012):
Hi
I’m 26 years old, in December I sent a message to my friend saying I miss my ex, I did anything towards that feeling and I just said to coz I’m getting married and I was having cold feet. My bf saw this message and ever since this incident he doesn’t trust me. I have did nothing wrong, I never cheated or had anything to do with anyone. Now he keeps my phone, I have to report to him every day about who calls me, He changed my Facebook and my Gmail account passwords, I’m really starting to feel like I’m being closed up, we getting married in April and I don’t know what to do, I’m not happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Perhaps his exes have cheated on him with other men.
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male
reader, Frexk +, writes (28 November 2009):
Ask him what have i done? is there something wrong. and he will tel you that and eventually he'll tell you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): i too am literally going through this exact same thing...except my bf has gone farther...he doesnt allow me to talk to any of my guy friends, he made me delete my pictures of my guy friends...he makes me feel horrible for putting on make or doing my hair...he even gets mad when i want to hang out with my family...i ask him why he doesnt trust me and he doesnt have an answer for me..when i had a cell phone he would go through it but im not allowed to touch his...my situation gets even more twisted though...im 12 weeks pregnant with his child...he also hold double standards...he makes me tell him 2 days in advance if im going to make plans, and even when i do he acts like its the end of the world...yet he decides to tell me 10 minutes before we are hanging out with his friend...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): i also am going through exactly the same thing. i have never done anything to break his trust but he still doesnt trust me. i dont even see many of my male friend as he doesnt trust me with them. he taked advantage of me most of the time. i think in some cases, if he doesnt trust you its usually to do with him not being able to trust himself, most people fear in others, what there are themselves. i found text messages on my boyfriend phone from an old 'friend' but the message from her said 'i dont want to come betwen you and your girlfriend' i confronted him but he went on sayin that i shouldnt hav looked through his phone and that its 'only flirting'. distrust can come from so many area's, maybe he has a low self-esteem and thinks that is it going to happen one day, or maybe you are just very attractive and he see's the looks other men give you. i think that the only way either of us can sort this out is to try and comunicate as best we can or the relationship will suffer the consiquences. im in two minds as to end my relationship. they say that a relationship is built on trust, so if you dont have trust then there cant b much of a relationship.
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female
reader, Tpain0145 +, writes (19 August 2007):
I am going through the same thing. My situation was more like the things I said to him verses what I've done. I've never cheated on him or disrespected him with other men; however, I've said things to him in the past that lowered his self esteem, because of this, he believes I don't love him. He also feels that he doesn't please me in the bedroom. Because of all of this, he cheated on me out of hurt. I admit I was wrong for saying the things I've said to him, because guys have this pride about their manhood, respect, and being dominant in the relationship. I don't know what to say to make it better for us other than pray and maybe go to some conseling. You see, I'm 34 and we have an 8 yr old together. I try to put more of God in every obsticle I cannot face on my own and that is my advice to you. Besides praying about it, find out if he's ever cheated on you before. That can be an issue as well. Most men tend to cheat on their girlfriends and then accuse them for doing the same things out of guilt! You have to do your homework if you want to save the relationship. You and he both have to learn to forgive and forget as well. The most important factor is COMMUNICATION!!! I stress that because talking about the main problem and getting it out in the open can keep you from being puzzled about the "what if" and "why's" in the relationship. If he's willing, talk to your church minister or counselor TOGETHER. If all fails or you don't feel that it is worth it, just let it go and go on with your life. But remember, trust is two ways. Men have an ego problem and can't seem to "shake it off" when it comes to their women cheating on them. We can forgive them over and over again, but it'll take to hell and back for them to trust us...even if they get caught. Good luck to ya!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2005): Well hun, if you don't "really care about him" then drop him and move on. You don't have to prove anything to him. He's being an ass and he sounds like he may be worth the effort to you. Tell him you haven't the time nor inclination to play games and kick him to the curb. Go find someone you can have a meaningful, respectful, honest relationship with...someone who is a lot more mature than this guy. You deserve to be happy so go for it, girl. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2005): Just so you know a lot of guys pull this with their girlfriends. It can be a combination of many things, he could have been hurt by someone else in the past and now he has his guard up, he wants to feel dominant in the relationship,or simply it is just his ego. Whatever the reason, it is wrong. Know that without trust your relationship will go no where. think about how many times the trust factor is present. When you both are out without each other, rumors that can circulate, being honest about your feeling. Trust is major. Therefore, you need to put a stop to his issues and his double standards, because the more it is never delt with the more fights will come about and bad things will happen. Like cheating, resentment, and finally breakup. What you need to do is sit down with your man and have a heart to heart. Ask him why he has such a trust issue and how both of you can start resolving this. Be honest about everything without getting nasty. Be sweet by throwing words of encouragement like "Listen babe this issue that you have with me has to end" or "your a great boyfriend but you not trusting me is really starting to effect me and this relationship". If being sweet and honest doesnt work then you need to consider different options that might not involve your guy. Remember being able to be honest and open is really important without that it will be hard to lead to stronger bonds in your relationship. He has to resepect you and your willingness to fix your relationship.
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reader, AsianGirl +, writes (9 September 2005):
 you should know your boyfriend's past because he maybe had his heart broken and couldn't trust easily just give him time to know you better and be patient with him, just show him how much you loved and care for him. he might give His trust to you cause trust is not that easy to build...
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