| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 34 yr old women dating a 35 yr old man for about a year. We are very much in love and talk about our future a lot. I love to tell him how great he looks or how sexy or kind or strong I think he is (not all the time just a few times a week maybe)... I even send him cards or fun emails now and then just to say I love you. I do this with no motive and I mean everything I say and he seems to like it, but I have never gotten these actions in return. He doesn't go out of his way to say nice things to me or a card or note. Should I be concerned, or is this a guy thing??
View related questions:
I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (23 November 2005):
 Ok,this man your seeing is in his thirties,hes hardly a young teenager so he has had other relatinships so he must know what makes a woman tick by now,it is trial and error.You show him affection,how much he means to etc,yet he doesnt reciprocate.I must admit i do find that a bit strange.I would of thought by now after a whole year of been with you that he would want to display some kind of affection,or a romantic gesture? He might be the type of guy who doesnt feel comfortable,showing his emotions but displays it in some other way.Does he tell you that he loves you,does he put his arm round you and give you cuddles? Is he loving in other ways? If the answer is yes then you probably havent got much to worry about.If on the other hand the answer is no then i dont think he would ever be enough,you will always want more.It is about give and take and if it feels like he is doing the taking then you are going to end up miserable.Maybe you are more serious about him then he is about you perhaps.Speak to him,tell him you would like more feed back,if he just looks at you with a glazed look in his eye,then you will no your answer.Why settle for second best?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2005): If he's 35, he's likely been around the block a few times with relationships. And even if he hasn't dear, I still feel every successful relationship requires a little give and give, on both your parts. The key to the equation is balance. Each partner should contribute his or her fair share of the giving, and each should enjoy an equal amount of consideration in return. Some may say, he's not the affectionate type- I say, he can certainly learn and begin making positive changes. Because showing your beloved how much you care, is par for the course if one wants to be in a healthy, loving relationship.
With that said, some people have a variety of ways to show givingness. If you have talked to him about this, then he knows your feelings. And if he's still refusing to be giving back-then you may have a man who is not as committed to you as you are to him. And if you are unhappy with this, then tell him. One of the hardest things about relationships is that no two people always want exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. But if you master the art of giving an inch, your partner should likely to go that extra mile in return. Love is a funny thing-I have seen it turn the most coldest, hardened, unaffectionate guys into the biggest 'cuddly teddybears' for that one special woman they respect, honor and love.
Never fear asking for what you want in a relationship from your beloved. If it's important to you, for him to display more affection-be honest and tell him. One of the best ways to bond and establish committment, is to open up with your feelings. Don't get needy..keep your self-respect but make him aware, of your needs as well. I hope he realizes how special you are, dear. But if you find he's not responding to your needs, I would seriously re-evaluate his committment and this relationship. No loving, strong relationship should not cause you self-doubts about your lovability. Good luck and I wish you the best.
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, gothica +, writes (23 November 2005):
its not only a guy thing girls do it too . But guys are yes a little weak on the showing affection . but watch for small things like if he opens the door for you or let you win an argument that you know he could win easyly little things like that are the way men show you they care . some time thouse are more valuble then cards flowers or candy
...............................
|
