A
female
age
,
*ulu45
writes:OK I will try to keep this brief! Dating this guy for 10 months. Both of us have been married and both have kids. I have mine full time he has them 1.2 time.In the beginning he used to plan things together but now he seems to run his own life and tell me later and then i have to work around it?His daughter had her 16th birthday diner. It was going to be on his week with the kids yet his ex and her new live-in were going to be there and his kids and we were not invited! I said I was insulted and that I should be included. He thought about it for a week and then asked me to come without the kids!This past weekend I got a sitter for my kids (my Mom and sister) for an over night so i could go help him with his car racing for the weekend. That night he informed me that he was going golfing with the guys when he got back on the holiday monday...I was out since it was the only family day and that he had already had alot of him time. Then to top it off the kids are at his ex's this week. They call him up and say hey Dad take us to the movies. His ex does not like the movies so he says ok. We have our reg morning phone call and I ask him if he would liek to go to the ball game with my kids tonight since he is child less this week. He said I cant I have plans! I am really put out dont you think he should at this point have called me and said Hope you dont mind the kids and I are goingto the movies, we did not have plans did we? or do your kids want to come? or something..or am I being overly sensative. This is as brielf as i could make it bbut there is alot more that makes me feel like he does not want to be accountable to anyone but his kids?
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female
reader, lulu45 +, writes (26 June 2008):
lulu45 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses! We bbroke up right after this note was posted. he said he disliked my son after I was nagry with him for telling my son he looked gay in his new glasses! Need i say more! We had been trying to tlak in the past however it was not the right match for sure!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): I have been in a relationship with a man for 6 years who is exactly the same. I have been married to him for 3 of those years and I am now getting divorced becuase his behaviour and the fact that he always puts his children first has made me so resentful I cannot continue living with him anymore. He has allowed his children to take drugs in front of me and my small son, he has allowed them to verbally and physically abuse me and basically not done anything to make me feel like I matter at all in our relationship or that I am respected. When I first met him I thought this would change in time as our relationship progressed however, it has not changed and I now know that no matter what his children will always come first. I have decided that the only choice I have is to put up with being continually told I don't matter, or to leave and I have chosen to leave as it will never change.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (7 July 2007):
 This guy seems to be there for his kids, which is 100% how it should be but doesn't seem to want yours to be involved.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. He can't just5 have you- you come with kids too :)
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (3 July 2007):
 your being human, how can u not take ur kids with u?sit down and talk to him is my best advive, state ur case; it sounds like he would drop anything to be with his kids, thats perectly understandable because he hardl sees them but my advice is that u and just ur kids alone go away, it sounds like u and them need a break as a family unit. and maybe cooling space would do u 2 good, make eachother feeling more wanted!ur being perfectly sane
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