A
female
age
41-50,
*ulturelost
writes:Dear agony aunts/uncles, I have this friend for whom I´ve had a big crush, and so he had for me. Last november we met and told each other feelings, and finally were togheter (without sex). He came back to his country and we kept in touch since then. Some of his emails are really lovely, but sometimes he is very dry. I was nervous about a job that would send me closer to him, but he didn´t make any comments about that. By the time we got together, we made some plans of meeting again this year and travel togheter. Now, he just emailed me that he will be too busy to meet me. And I don´t have money enough to go there to see him now. Should I forget it all and move on? I still like him, but he seems so away (mentaly, not only phisicaly) Thanks!
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female
reader, culturelost +, writes (28 August 2007):
culturelost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo give an update on the question... The emails start to be rare as the months passed by. I´ve sent him a birthday gift, to which he answered quickly, but was all. Now I´ve decided to email him saying that I finally understood that he wasnt interested as I was, and thats why I would be not emailing him from now on. thanks for your replies! I hope I can overcome this soon!
A
female
reader, culturelost +, writes (28 August 2007):
culturelost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate on this story... emails got rare as months passed by... I even sent him a birthday gift, and he quickly ansered thanking me for that, but that was all. Finally I got the courage to email him saying how I feel and that it would be better if we stop chatting, as he clearly is not interested in me as I´m still for him. I know it will take time to recover, but I´m sure I will! thanks for all your posts!
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A
female
reader, culturelost +, writes (16 April 2007):
culturelost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers!
To answer 1st post, I live in Brazil and he lives in the UK. If I had the money to go and he didn´t had time for me, it wouldn´t be a problem, since London is a big city which I love. He mentioned on his last email that he didn´t had time to come to South America for his vacations this year, since he has big projects going on.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Until you can be sure of his intentions and commitments i would be wary of doing anything rash no matter what or how much you feel for him.
Its commendable that you are willing to so much for him, but be sure before you go ahead with any large commitments.
It does sound like he is unsure himself, so I would find out from him where this relationship is going??
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A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 I suggest you date someone closer to home. Long distance romances are very difficult and very rarely work out. You just cant date when you only see each other once or twice a year! Plus, his indifferance, I think, is a big indicator. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): Well, I suppose you can still send him an occasional hi-how-are-you friendly email, but really it would seem like a good idea to ratchet it down a few notches at this point.
If he is too busy to meet you again, and you don't have the money to go see him, it certainly does not sound very promising. Anyway, what good would it do even if you DID have the money available for a trip, but he is too busy to see you? How busy he actually is there is no way of telling. It could well be the truth, but also a gentler way of not encouraging you any further. Anyway, where do you both live?
As mentioned above, try an occasional email and see how he responds........unless you decide to simply let it go and see who might be a nice, interesting and interested guy who lives closer to you......
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