A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I have sex with my man, I always give him oral but he only touches me down there and never gives me oral. I don't want to ask for it, because he might not want to do it, and I don't want him to do anything he's not comfortable with but it does bother me. He is a bit selfish in general. The minute he cums it's all over and I never climax with him! He says I'm great in bed 10/10... but he's not good at all! He doesn't satisfy me like I do him!! What should I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Just ask him why he doesn't go down on you. If you're calm and reasonable about it, then he will be too. My BF isn't big on giving oral, but he knows he needs to give to get, so we talked about what he likes to do and how and so on.
Also, some guys would rather be taught how to be the King in bed rather than just think they are. Try being on top sometime so that you have control, and show him the angles you like and the pace that suits you. Talk to him while you do this. If he doesn't catch the hint after a few romps, then put yourself on top again so you can orgasm (hopefully) and then roll over and go to sleep. See if that drives the point home that he needs to work on his technique and bedside manner.
Sex should be fun for both parties involved, and the goal should always be to connect and become close with your partner. If he isn't into that, then he's a jerk and you shouldn't really be spending mroe time with someone who won't take an interest in your needs.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): You have to just be honest about what you want. You dont have to be mean or anything. One day just stroll up to him and say in your sexiest voice "you know it would really turn me on if you would____" You cant be afraid to talk about your needs. Otherwise he will never know! He might be walking wround thinking he's the worlds best lover. You have to communicate, be honest, and dont be shy! Good Luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Can you just talk with him when you two are not in bed? Have a calm, loving conversation about sex in general and then about how sex is in specific for you? Tell him about how wonderful it feels when he does -----. Say that you are feeling a bit like the supporting actor, not the female lead, because when he reaches orgasm, that's the end of the show! The end of the show should be when you both feel satisfied and happy and glowing.
Tell him that you want to reach orgasm too, and this is how you do it: (then explain here what works for you). If you can't reach orgasm during vaginal penetrative sex, well, join the majority of women! Most women do NOT reach orgasm through intercourse.
Tell him that your clitoris is the counterpart to his penis. Yes, the vagina is lovely and fits him so well, but that is not the source of your sexual pleasure. Your clitoris is your little teensy penis. If his penis wasn't stimulated, would he orgasm? So maybe have a talk about oral sex for you. He might not want to go 'down there' because he doesn't know what to do! He might have the idea that he has to stick his nose in your vagina or something. Perhaps a discussion about the clitoris and oral sex being analogous to the penis and oral sex might get him to understand?
If you don't feel you can start this conversation (!) you might try leaving a page like this open on your computer:
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
There's also a good article here that you might want to read, to help you with the talk: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
Remember, communcation is vital, communication is possible, communication is that proverbial two-way street.
Hope this helps! Good luck and have fun.
...............................
|
