A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been apart for four months now. he was my first love, and we were inseparable. after a couple of weeks of 'not being the same' he finished me. is it normal to still be in love with him ? also he keeps telling me he still loves me, and he tends to throw a 'paddy' if i try to move on making out like hes the one with the broken heart but doesnt love me enough to get back with me, is he stringing me on ? or am i just being stupid ?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Ok first of yes it is ok to still love him, he was your first love therefore it will take a while to get over him. Now on to him he doesnt want to be with you anymore but he is a guy and is selfish therefore he doesnt want you to be with anyone else either. He is being selfish and dont let him rule your life like this. You deserve to find a nice young guy that will treat you well therefore do not let him stand in your way of dating other guys. If you want to go out with other guys then do that. As the classic saying goes he doesnt want you but he doesnt want anyone else to have you either. But life doesnt work that way so its his loss move on and find yourself a guy that will love you for who you are. Goodluck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I have been there done that before. My first love did the same thing. We'd still talk afterwards and i was completely heartbroken. He really freaked out when I started dating a new guy and would call me constantly and try and make sure I wasnt seeing him. He saw us once at the mall kissing (which I wasnt aware of him being at the mall at all) and it was too much for him. I just told him, look YOU dumped ME, not the other way around so deal with it unless you want me back. Turns out he didnt realize how much he wanted me back until he saw that kiss and we were together for a year and a half after that.
However, when the tables turned and I broke up with him I felt it hard to not think of him and did get jealous at the thought of him being with someone else even though I really didnt want him in my life as a boyfriend anymore. It took me a few months to fully move on, even though I left him for another man. I never once though voiced those feelings of jealousy to him. I had those feelings but I made my choice and it wasnt fair of me to ever bring them up to him.
My guess is he is just confused and obviously still has some sort of feelings for you. He does not, however, have any say in what you do. You can try telling him that flat like I did and see what he says. If he says he still doesnt want to be together then tell him too bad, I love you enough to give you another shot and you dont want that so Im going to try and move on and date other people. If he continues to get upset, stop talking to him at all about that part of your life. He cant have his cake and eat it to. He will realize this whether you get back together or not. No one likes to be jealous and we all want to figure out any way we can not to be anymore.
And yes it is normal to still have feelings. Those unfortunately can take years to go away. They fade over time but your first love never fully leaves your heart. That sounds pretty bad but really later down the line you will remember the good times and hopefully be thankful that you had those once even if they are gone.
Good luck and dont give up hope! I promise, once highschool is over things get a lot more simple as long as you learn from you past.
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