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female
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*iza
writes: I've been with this man for 1 and half years. We broke up twice before. We met when we were both separated and my divorce is done but he is still ongoing because of custody and money.We both have 2 kids each from previous marriage.His ex has not been kind to let him see his kids often.He finally got access of them.We were very much in love but he always break it off when his divorce or the ex give him shit about him leaving the marriage etc.He will always come back to me after. All this time he never goes back to the marriage.He lives on his own since they separated. I don't have an ugly battle with my ex so i'm ok. I love this man dearly and during the early days of our courtship he was so in love with me that he wanted to marry me.Now he is skepketical about it. I don't blame him. Eversince his ex wife bump into me and him last month, she has given him a lot of access to the kids. He can see them anytime now.My boyfriend suddenly now wants to ends things with me cause he said that he can't do both and he is not sure if he wants to try on the marriage again. He said he needs to build the relationship with the boys eversince he left the house 3 years ago. My boyfriend hated the ex very much but eversince she has given him access he is trying to appease her now.He broke off our relationship again cause he wants to concentrate on his kids again.I asked if he loves the ex and he said NO but i am hurt right now cause i always believe he will come back to me. We never fight and he is a very loving person but i think his head is confused.Tommorow he is going for a vacation with his kids after 3 years of not being able to do so with the ex wife. I don't know if he is going to try on this marriage again. They been married for 15 years and he loves family life but not the ex wife. I want him back and i don't know what to do. I am really hurt that he is gone but somehow i feel that we may be back together again. Please help me. I really love this man and i don't know if i should wait for him or move on.My heart tells me that he is done with the marriage.
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broke up, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, money, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 First off she isn't an ex yet. Either he's just stringing you along or he really is confused. But his yo-yo behavior really concerns me for your sake. I would start planning my future without him if I were you. If he finally decides to divorce once and for all then fine, if not, then you will have started on with the rest of your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): Let him go!!! He obviously still cares for his wife otherwise he wouldn't be sticking around. You will only hurt yourself if you wait for him to do something he is not ready to do. you should move on with someone who has less baggage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): I think this man is very confused and has taken on too much. He is having a messy split with his ex wife and he doesn't even seem to be sure if splitting up with her is what he wants. He is confused, flustered and still effectiveley in his first marriage. At the same time he is also in an on/off relationship with you. I don't think he knows what he wants and he is giving out mixed messages to everyone. I don't think you should wait for him. I think you should accept that he is not a very settled person at the moment, that is not very good foundations for the sort of relationship you are hoping for. If you start living your own life, you may encourage him to live his, but you can't make him want to settle down with you. You sound quite jealous, as you aready to move on and he he is not. I hope you let him work it out for himself. Instead of trying to figure out what his game is you should start enjoying your new life without him, go on a holiday yourself, pamper yourself, stop stressing over this man! Its not fair the way he is keeping you on the shelf to play with at his own leisure!
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