A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, on and off. We have a newborn baby together and he is 24 and I'm 21. In the time that we've dated he has never done anything sweet for me. We often go days without talking (we have a long-distance relationship at the moment so we don't see each other much) and he hardly ever tells me that he loves me and rarely tells me he misses me. Valentine's day is coming up and I asked him what we were going to do and he said nothing because he doesn't like Valentine's day. He told me that I was free to do something by myself if I wanted to. Because of his lack of affection towards me, I'm starting to feel like he doesn't care about me at all and that he might only be with me because of our baby. Sometimes I feel like he cares a little because he will make the effort to talk to me (but this is only once a week at most) and he acts sad whenever our baby and I leave from visiting him, but because he doesn't give me a lot of affection I don't feel like he cares about me. Him not wanting to do something with me on Valentine's day really hurts and is the last straw, especially since he has treated previous girlfriends better and I've done a lot of sweet things for him before. The only problem is, there are so many things holding me back from leaving him. Most importantly, we have a baby together and I really want our baby to grow up with both parents and no step-parents. I'm also afraid that I won't meet anyone, especially anyone who will accept me with a child, and anyone who will treat me better. I'm also worried about upsetting his family, and losing the connection that I have with them because I love them too, and I'm worried about pissing off his dad since his dad has put work into a house that he owns that he is giving us to live in. I could really use some advice on what to do. I was going to wait until Valentine's day and see if he is joking and really does do something sweet but I don't want to waste anymore of mine or his dad's time and money since we should be moved in by then. So, I'm thinking about asking him if he is serious about us not doing anything and then telling him how I feel like he doesn't care. If he doesn't want to change after that, I'm going to break things off with us. Any advice, please?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 In the time that you dated he never did anything sweet for you, and yet y ou are living with him and have his baby. What on earth was the attraction and why do you expect him all of a sudden to change. You need to be loved and he is not demonstrative. He may never change with you. How is he as a provider, and does he take care of your son with you. If you want more from this relationship, you must talk to him about it because you will be unfulfilled for years and will end up leaving him anyway.
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