A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i been with my boyfriend for almost a yr now and i had fallen head over heals for him. i love this man with all my heart. the problem is that he says that he doesnt know if he loves me or not. he says he feels something deep for me but does not know what it is and does not want to say it unless he knows for sure. i had told him that all we have is time.but he told me he does not want to leave me he wants to keep workin on us,but if few months down the road his ways doesnt change he says he would just have to walk away and hopes to remain friends down the future. you cant put a time limit on a relationship right? he says he cares about me alot and i am the best thing that has ever happened to him. so how can i make my man fall for me like i did with him? i dont want to loose him for anything in this world. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 I respectfully disagree with you that you cannot put a time limit on a relationship.
It depends on what kind of relationship. If it is a normal friendship, you cannot but if it is about commitment issues, you will need to . Otherwise, you will be forever be in a timeless black hole in space.
You have to give him some time to decide if he loves you or not. You cannot wait infinitely for his answer.
You will not be young anymore and you would be wasting your youth and time in a useless venture .
If he does not love you after 1 year, he will not love you in 2 or 3 years or more.
If you want a quick answer, go date another guy and then he will feel the urgency and will make him decide .
Always keep your options open.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): That's the thing, you can't make him "fall" for you. You can't make someone love you, care about you or want you. It is going to be hard for you to let go of this guy b/c you are in love with him, but he doesn't share those same feelings. You KNOW when you are IN LOVE, and he isn't IN LOVE with you. I think he likes you, he may even care about you to a certain extent, but that alone will not be enough for the relationship to grow, mature and having staying power. It is your choice in the end and I must say I have been where you are--it's easy to tell someone to leave, but it's not easy to actually do it. I stayed in my previous relationship so long that the guy ended up leaving me and going back to his ex and treating me like crap in the process. Towards the end, he too cited that he "thought" he loved me and blah, blah, blah. I should have walked away before it got to that point, but I called myself being IN LOVE with him and allowing him to talk me into staying with him hoping and praying that I would be the one he chooses to be with and love--it never happend. The choice is yours honey...b/c I have been where you are right now, I would say leave him, but once again, it's easier said that done. Even if you do leave him, you will still be hurt because, you love him so much. Either way...it will take time for you to heal your broken heart and get your emotions in check. I wish you the best. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 I don't think you can make anyone fall for you, its something we can't control, if we could control it I'm sure plenty of people would.
I think the best thing you can do is be yourself, try not to worry about it because that could change how you react towards him and put pressure on the situation without realising.
At least he's being honest with you, too many people throw around the word love too easily and without actually having the feelings to back it up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): That's a tough situation, but you can't put feelings in a mans heart that aren't there. If he doesn't feel for you like you feel for him, think about it this way: you deserve someone who feel as strongly for you as you feel for them. If this continues to stay one sided, I think you should let him go. Perhaps he will realize later that he truly does love you, and will come back. If it's meant to be it will happen.
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