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He doesn't care if he sees me before I go on vacation, but wants me to buy his groceries for the next month! Am I right to be upset?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2011)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I need advise from guys who can relate to my bf's kind of thinking.

I am about to go on a vacation and I was thinking of spending more time with my boyfriend at least during the weekend. However, he told me today that he will come home on monday after work as he will need to meet up with his friends in another city and he can't be with me on Saturday and Sunday. I will be leaving at Tuesday dawn.

He currently lives with me. And since that I am leaving for vacation, asked me if I could buy his supply of food for the next 1 month that I am gone. I told him that he should have time to buy his own food as I am busy preparing for my vacation.

The thing is, he doesn't care if he doesn't see me before I leave but he cares that I buy him groceries for his consumption?

Am I just thinking overly about this or am i right to react negatively? I need advise how to approach him without starting a fight. Thank you so much.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 May 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with Honeypie! (as usual)...

if he can't spend the weekend with you before you leave for a month I'd want him gone too.

BTW why isn't he going on vacation with you?

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A female reader, IAMDONE United States +, writes (18 May 2011):

You have every reason to have concern about your boyfriend being too busy to spend time with you before you leave for vacation.

On the other hand, I would express to him that you wanted to spend time with him before you left for your vacation. Let him know that you were disappointed because he did not want to spend time before your departure because he had other things to do regarding meeting his friends. Also let him know that him asking you to buy groceries before you left made you feel uncomfortable and that you do not want to do it because you could use that money on your vacation. Also let him know that his request and not making the time to spend with you before you leave makes you feel small, insignificant, and used. Be gentle when you talk to him.

Decisions we make sometimes are not always in the best interest of our mates and loved ones. Probably because when we make decisions and choices we are not thinking outside of the box. Perhaps, he did not realize you were leaving when he made the plans that he made.

Talking about your feelings may not make him change his mind, but he will know how you feel and your position on his actions.

Enjoy your vacation...it is probably much needed!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntWow, what are you, his Mom? Buy you his groceries? Oh heck no! LOL

Honestly, if he can't spend one day of his week end with you, before you leave, I think I would prefer that he was gone when I got back home.

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