A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 months now. We got together as I was getting to the end of my first year of university, though he's graduated now. He lives local to the university and I don't, so until the start of the new semester we're in a 'long distance relationship'. However I'm starting to have doubts about how into me he actually is and I don't know if they're founded or not. He's a rubbish communicator. Since I've been at home I've had no calls, hardly any texts and only a couple of IM conversations with him, none of them very uplifting. I've tried to initiate conversations but he never seems to be around. I even arranged to go visit him by train, which is more than he's done for me, but he cancelled on me at almost the last minute because he said he was having financial and family worries and was really stressed out. When we're together he's really understanding and supportive and complimentary, so I don't know whether to try and have a serious talk with him about the relationship or just wait it out and see if things get better when I get back to Uni. Am I being paranoid or does he really not care about me as much as it seemed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): I am sorry, but it sounds like your boyfriend is not as serious as you are about the relationship....and I kind of think you might want to start dating others. Two months of dating is really not the time to make a commitment to each other anyway.....it is still new, you don't really know each other all that well. I would tell him the pressure is off to maintain the Long Distance relationship, that you plan on staying busy with your own life and don't mention that he hasn't called you much....if you initiate the relationship talk first before he has made your relationship official or before he does, it will kill the relationship...guys like to feel they are in control of the pace of the relationship.....you need to let him pursue you and let him know he doesn't quite have you yet....he isn't stepping up to the plate so you back off and see if he doesn't come to you. If he doesn't then you have your answer and it is time to forget him and move on completely. Good Luck.
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