A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am a 25 year old girl, I always had a very good and healthy sex life... Here's my problem I have been dating this guy and sometimes when we have sex he does not cum, is this normal? I think he even faked an orgasm once or twice!!!!!. Let me specify that this happens the first time, I know that if u do it more than one time in a row it can happen to guys, but in my case it is the first time.Sex with him is not so so great becazuse I have a hard time letting myself go because he is very very religious so I am scared to go to far for him. He always initiate the sex never me... Is this normal? Is it because he is not attracted to me or something...Please help me i'm dreading having sex again because if he doesn't ejaculate i become very self conscious.I am not sure if I should ask him because I am not sure if it's a problem he has. He has had sex a lot in his life.... so it must be me right? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, siren1  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Hi sounds like your worrying to much maybe he may think hes not pleaseing you so thats why he finding it hard to ejaculate men need to know they are making you happy in the bedroom it turns them on more to know your enjoying it, you say you never initiate sex WHY i do alot they like you to now and again dont leave it all up to him, so go out and buy some sexy underwear and give him the shock of his life trust me he wont have a problem then. let me know how it goes ang good luck xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): He either doesn't really fancy you that much or he is sexual repressed/dysfunctional as you have had a healthy sex life prior to this I would suggest the latter, especially as you say he is very very religious.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): Sweetheart it isn't you....He is most likely very nervous and is sensing you are too, he is holing out for your orgasm and is not wanting to just get his and forget about you, and sometimes he can be overstimulated to the point where he can't let go. Put these fears out of your head. Sex is not just about having an orgasm, it is the connection of two hearts and minds and bodies.....you may be having sex too early, before the bond of trust and friendship has had a chance to take hold....sex too early can cause a lot of problems in a budding relationship. Just because you have had sex with him before does not mean that you can't agree to wait a little longer to do it again. It is difficult to learn how to please a new lover and it takes time to be comfortable and learn each other's bodies and it can be a source of frustration....Don't be a Monday Morning quarterback and critique his performance, but instead tell him what you want right when it is happening, open communication in the bedroom is key.
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