A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I first wrote on here asking for advice on how to handle my boyfriend telling me that he loves and cares about me but isnt in love with me anymore. I got loads of advice telling me that he is unlikely to come back after saying this. Well its a month later now and he knocked on my door yesterday =/ He does want me back. Im just unsure of how to handle it. Of course i love him and have missed him so much but i thought that it would be best if i didnt say yes straight away to him. He told me how hes had a lot of time to think and he made a mistake in ending it, and misses me (nice feeling to know he does care about me still). He said that he should have talked to me instead of ending it like he did. Im seeing him monday and i dont know if i should say then that we will see how it goes or leave it longer. Should i make him wait for me, or is the weekend enough waiting and should i give it a try??I guess deep down i worry that if we get back he could have those feeling again after a few months cause atm its the feeling like when we first got together 20months ago. Or maybe this will make us stronger?? =/ Oh and im supposed to be going to a wedding with him next saturday. Just need advice on how to handle the situation please
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I agree with the other aunties and uncle Ron.
If you DO want to be with him again, TAKE IT VERY SLOW.
Talk to him. He really needs to explain himself.
From what little you have told me it seems like he wants to keep you around til he finds better (grass is always greener).
He might get those feelings again. There is no sure way to know. It's up to you if you want to try again or let him go for good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Be very careful.
Your boyfriend said that he still loved you, but was no longer IN love with you. If he loves you, even if it is not in the romantic sense anymore, of course he will miss you and want to be around you. Just because he comes back does not mean his heart has changed completely.
I had a relationship like this a while ago. My boyfriend at the time would end it with me every six months or so, saying that he loved me, but was no longer in love with me anymore. After some time appart he'd always come back telling me that he'd made the biggest mistake in his life. I took him back more times than I'd like to rememeber and with foresight I can say it was a mistake.
This doesn't mean that it won't work for you. I'm just advising you take it slow and make sure his heart really has changed. Do what you feel is right in your heart.
But if he ever does this to you again I would suggest taking him back a second time, as it is likely to keep happening.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 You have only been with him 20 months ago. You haven't gone through life with him, enough for him to say this to you. You don't have kids or money issues to worry about. Were there a lot of fighting between you two? A guy doesn't fall out of love that easily unless he didn't really love you that much to begin with. 'I had a lot of time to think about it" usually means 'my new date didn't work out for me and since you will take me back just take me back.' To knock on your door after he ended it, is also inappropriate. He didn't call you before, he thought if you saw him right there it would be more difficult for you to say no. That alone I would say don't take him back. When he was at your door, he still wasn't able to convince you why you should take him back, that's why you are here asking us. That's because he really didn't have a good thing to say, nothing to back up why the relationship should go on. Mistake, missed you? Nah, everyone could say that.
You have many years ahead of you, many guys you are going to meet. He disappointed you so early on, how can you trust that he wouldn't do that again? If the time apart is the only thing making him fall back in love with you, then there will be a lot of break ups and hook ups down the path.
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