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He does not want a commitment and it's driving me crazy, please help?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *lairyfairy writes:

Help how do u get over someone. And stop feeling shit bout giving your all being totally inlove. Them saying they love u back. Then just deciding that actually the cant give u what u want. 3 yrs i gave my all to someone who i was totally in love with. They say that im the one for them they love me ive made them a better person. Hes never had or thought he would ever have what we got. But has a commitment problem! Cos i feel ive been betrayed. He says hes just not ready to settle down.and yet he says im the one! He admits he has a problem but doesnt know what to do bout it. Weve spilt up because of this 3 times. Each time he comes back saying what an idiot and fool he is! Im hurt and angry. But when i try and explain he dont understand. So theres no point. He only kind sees it from his point. Its so hard i feel depressed. Cos i know it wont be long b4 he sleeps with someone cos thats how he is! And yet im heartbroken. I just cant c the light. He doesnt love me does he or he would do anything surely to be with me. The hurt is so painful. Just wanna curl up and die.

View related questions: depressed, heartbroken

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A female reader, suzyontour United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2009):

Oh sweetheart, i understand how you are feeling but curling up on the floor and dying is not an option baby.

Firstly you must find closure in one way or another whether it be you and this guy closing the door on your past relationship or closure for yourself, so that you can heal from this , learn from this and meet someone who will truly love and cherish you.

I would if i was you muster all the strength within myself and calmly confront him. Tell him that things the way they are is making you feel very unhappy and you need him to be honest with you. Does he want you as a fulltime girlfriend or not. Trust me you can kid yourself not his eyes will tell you all you need to know. Trust your gut. Tell him your not prepared to continue this way. THIS IS IT MAKE OR BREAK. And mean it.

My guesses are that you are a lovely young lady who maybe needs to spread her own wings. See more of your friends, get out more and find things apart from him. You never know before you realise it you could be happy with him or without him. Maybe he just wants to explore maybe you should get yourself out there and explore aswell. If you two are meant to be together you will be, he will be in awe of the new independent you and if not your going to have a fantastic time anyway.

It will hurt for a while but you will come through to the other side stronger and happier and all ready for that lucky guy whoever he be. Good luck and keep smiling

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