A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last month I saw this guy @ work.He came and introduce himself to me,he was nice en freindly.We working for the same company but in diffent branches.We started chatting,I enjoyed talking to him.After 3 weeks we orgarnise to meet en it happened.I felt strong feelings for him,I enjoyed his company very much.I called him 1 day and the woman answer the fone,the following day he ask me to stop calling him cos he's married.He didn't tell me this and am so deeply in love with with.Should I tell him how I feel?How is that going to help me cos he's married? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): please stop justifying these so called strong feelings for him. just get over yourself. if you want to have an affair with a married man, please go ahead. your mind is already made up anyway. nothing anyone here will say will change your mind. let's call a spade, a spade, shall we.
A
female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 He has been married to her for 4yrs and he has known you for 4weeeks. Your little naive and selfish mind really believe this man can be loyal and honest to you over his wife.Go ahead, believe what you want and do what you want. Just remember what goes around comes around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): No No No ... plzzzzz dont let your feelings develop. i can assure you. it will end up a heartbreak. please MOVE ON in life. and find for someone else. I had written to you. I am sure your a lovely lady. you will definitely get the guy of your life someday. Its just that WE all need to be patiently waiting !!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe fannie part is he doesn't ask me visit him or anything,if he wants to sleep with me he could have done it by now.He doesn't call me during office hours only,even @ night.When I ask him where's him wife he always she's here,when I ask him if she won't have a problem he jus say I don't understand.The wife knows about me,She called me yesterday telling me that that I won't brake them they were married because of families,telling me how much the family loves her.They've been married 4 3yrs now but they don't have a child,when I ask him abt that he jus say he doesn't want a child 4 the wrong reason.As am typing this he called 2 say gudmorning.I just don't know.feelings are growing everyday.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Save your self the heartache and move on. This man just wants to keep you on the side and sleep with you. From your posts, it's obvious you are a little naive. He can can clearly see it and he's going to take full advantage of it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): you NOW KNOW that he is married. what are you going to do, ignore everything and still continue with him ?i find it so strange that he specifically told you not to call him again......then a few days later he calls to see how you are doing. You just pretend tht he is free and continue with him as though his marriage does not exist. he is just playing you, because he knows you are available and easy, so yes, he will continue until he gets you and darling, you will let him. Please do not say you have not been warned.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (14 April 2009):
You are his office mistress. I know for sure he doesn't call you when he's home with his wife, he's only calling you when he's in the office, probably bored to death and needing someone to let the 8-5 go by. He has figured you out, he knows you are:DESPERATE - becoz even though he's married and his wife has told you not to call, you continue to entertain him. CONTROLLABLE - becoz he tells you not to call, then calls you and you welcome him openly. You are the best candidate for a man with his marital status coz you he's going to control this relationship, when he's done with you, he'll come up with some story, when he needs you for something else, he'll come back and you'll gladly run back.You're coming up with all kind of reasons and it's all in your head. At the end of the day, he has a woman he proposed to and married. A woman he shares a bed with and makes love to, a woman he's sharing his life with - HIS WIFE.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Let him go. He is not looking for a soul mate or a relationship. He's looking for something on the side.
Basically, it's NOT love, it's using you.
Ignore the man. Move on.
Have some selfrespect and do settle for some other woman's leftovers. He's married. He is someone else's mess.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (14 April 2009):
You met him a month ago, you haven't even spent that much time with him and you say you're in love. I don't think so. He is married and you have to let it go. Why would you want to tell another woman's husband that you've fallen for him. How would you like it for some girl who has only known your husband for a few weeks told him that. Your feelings for him are not love, it's just infactuation, and you'll get over it. He has a wife, a woman he married and loves. He just met you and he probably wants your cookie. But you have to stop communicating and entertaining this man coz he's married. Entertaining him any further will be selfish and cruel.Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was the 1 who emailed me first en he ask 4 my number en I gave him.The time he ask to see we did see each other en we had lunch en we talk,not abt love.We both from the same town.You don't need to know someone for the long time to fall in love.Before u fall in love u get attracted to that person when u start talking u turn to see the inner beauty,connection,understanding between 2 people.This is all happened between us.He also tell me this.After the sms he send me to stop calling,I stopped.Few days after he called to check if I was ok and he admitted that he loves me but he doesn't want any relationship bcos of the situation.What makes it hard he is still foning me.He is always willing to talk en open up to him if I have a problem.I have strong feelings for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): sorry to tell you this, but its not love, just an attraction.
you have to respect his decision "the following day he ask me to stop calling him cos he's married." Maybe he didn't tell you before because you both are just work colleagues.
"After 3 weeks we orgarnise to meet en it happened" - what happened?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I agree. You can't possibly be "deeply in love" with a man you barely know. (Infatuated, yes, love? no).As for telling him how you feel - NO! The man is MARRIED. His primary loyalty is (or should be) to his wife, not you.Let it go and do not give him any more thought - surely there are any number of single men you can get to know?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): ok. this is really sad. the wrorst things which happen i na persons life. look. i would just say one thing. If you were in his wife's place . would you like to see another women expressing her love to your husband. think about it ... and then make a decision. We can say many things. Some will say Go head and tell him. others will say ... you shouldnot do it. Let your inner being guide you thru the situation. Just Put yourself in his wife's shoe and think ... would you like it. OR would you prefer to back off. I am sure your a lovely lady ..... you will definetly get the man of your life.GOOD LUCK.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You can't be deeply in love with him when you don't even know him? Let this go! He actually gave you his phone number or did you look it up?
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