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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: so im going to tell u a rather lengthy story but i REALLY need to vent and get it off my chest and know an outsiders opinion about it before i go telling anyone that could know the people involved: im gona be 16 in less than a month and i went to a party at a friends house 2 weeks ago. While i was there i met this guy who all the girls were looking at and trying to hit on. hes 19 and one of my friend's older brothers friends. while i was there, everyone started drinking, smoking weed and cigarettes, and hooking up. i hadnt been talking to this guy all night so i didnt know if he was drinking or anything. but when i did start talking to him he got really touchy. he came up behind me and put his hands in the back pockets of my jeans and squeezed my butt and said "you are way too young and way too sexy for me to not know you". i jumped turned around and pushed him away and said "excuse me?? im 15. so yeah. too young for you." he pulled me back by my hips and said "dont be silly. too young isnt an issue for me. i love it" i slapped him and walked away, pissed. my friend whos house it was quickly ran up to me and said "what the fuck are u doing?! one of the hottest guys ever just talked to you and u slapped him! what the hell is wrong with you! go fix it!" i said i didnt want to talk to him and she put her hand on my shoulder and said "heather. you want someone like him to talk to you. every girl does. this could be so good for you. please just try. if u rly hate him then leave." she walked me back over to him and said "sorry about that. she gets nervous" and she left. he just smiled at me and said "its ok. i have that effect on girls" i jus stared at him. "im going to get a drink" i said. and he followed me. he offered to get it for me and i said no. so i poured it and he stood behind me and then said "you look amazing. mmm i love it. come dance with me" i rolled my eyes and he took me by the hand and pulled me into the next room where there was rlly loud music playing and peoeple were dancing in the open space of the room. he was getting allll over me so i got uncomfortable and walked away. he grabbed a hand full of my hair and turned me around and said "where u going sweetcheeks?" I just gave him a look and he let go of my hair. i walked away and he followed. i noticed i left my drink in the room. so i went back to get it but i realized he already had it in his hand. "here, u forgot it. but dont worry." so i took it, sipped it, and to my surprise it wasnt the Coke i had before. it was alcohol. "this isnt mine! omg please just go away" i turned away and thought he took the hint. i went upstairs to get my phone and my hoodie. i thought i was alone but he had followed me. he stood in the doorway while i got my stuff, sent a txt to my sister, and went to leave. "excuse me." i said and went to go around him but he stepped in front of me. he grabbed a handful of my hair again and jerked me backward and shook me. "you dont like me huh? you think youre too good for me? you think youre better than me dont you bitch?!" i started to get so scared and his voice started to get louder. he jerked me by my hair harder and i put my hands on his hand on my hair to try and release the tension "stop youre hurting me!" he back handed me with his free hand. "shut up. i dont care. youve been acting like a stuck up bitch all night. you deserve everything youre getting." he spun me around, his grip still on my hair and shoved me face first into the bed. he let go of my hair and flipped me over and started to undo the belt on my shorts. I kicked at him and sat up and tried to push him off. he pushed me back down and covered my mouth, got close to my face, reached into his jeans and pulled out a small pocket knife. "see this? im not scared. so shut the fuck up and stay still" i did. i was shaking and crying while he took my pants off. he started touching my vagina and fingering me while i layed stiff as a board, grabbing the bedspread. he undid his pants a pulled out his penis. he stroked it a couple times and his eyes were closed for a minute so i quickly kicked him in the stomach and ran to the door. i went to the room across the hall and locked the door. he chased after me, but couldnt get into the room i was in. he banged on the door and said "just come out. i wont hurt you. i promise." i hid under the bed, crying hysterically. after about 10 mins of trying, he left. i stayed under the bed for a long time. then ran back into the room and put my pants on. I left the house. i didnt even tell my friend what happened or that i was leaving. i didnt see the car that i saw him pull up in outside. i called my stepsister and asked her to pick me up and she did. i told her everything on the car ride home. she says i need to tell our parents but i really really dont want to. i just want to forget about this. i dont want to upset our parents or make them disappointed that i was at a party where these things were going on. I fear that if i tell, people will treat me different or may not believe me. can this guy even be charged, because he didnt really rape me. i got away from him? i realize this is a ridiculously long post but im scared and really need some advice and clarity. please help me.
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female
reader, TeaTime  +, writes (14 October 2009):
TELL YOUR PARENTS. You did not do anything wrong. He did not insert his penis inside you but according to the law inserting anything into your vagina against your will is rape. TELL YOUR PARENTS. This is not your fault...You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Trust yourself; you have a good head on your shoulders.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Hey im so sorry that happen to you.I know what that is like to have someone force that kind of thing because i was raped once i wasn't luky to get away. All i can say is that i think u can charge him with sexual assult i would give that a try but dont worry about what other people think because u know what happen and that is all that matters. You will have people help u through.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (27 September 2009):
 I won't lie to you, some people may treat you differently. But honestly, their opinions don't matter. What matters most is how you feel about it and how you feel about what you do. Let other people have their opinions, it's not their life to lead anyway. It's yours and that's what counts.
With that said, I think that you should tell your parents. What happened to you is attempted rape and the police can definitely charge him for that.
Also, none of what happened was your fault. You walked away, you went to get away from him, you made it clear that you were not interested. And even if you didn't do any of that, it is never right for anyone to force themselves on you. It was his choice to do the things he did. He chose to try to make you do something. What happened is 100% his fault.
RAINN has a hotline, on the phone and online, where you can talk to a trained volunteer who will answer any questions and listen to your story. They are very kind, nice and non-judgmental people. You can find them at www.rainn.org
Good luck. *hug*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): YES you absolutely need to tell your parents and the police. While it might not have been full on rape it was definitely sex abuse plus he was violent. If you don't report him it might happen to someone else. You need to say something and you might need some counseling for this it's very traumatic and it can stick with you for a while.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (27 September 2009):
 Excuse me? He didn't rape you...but he was going to, and he also sexually assaulted you. Your sister's right, you need to tell your parents and then let things take their course. Any 'friends' who don't stick by you are not friends at all, (the one who said you should be grateful for his attention is clearly a moron! Do you really want morons for buddies?). He is a creepy guy who will do the same thing again if no one stands up to him.
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