A
female
age
,
*oxiemay
writes:I feel strongly that my husband had an affair about 6 months ago. He denies it. How do I move on? I don't know if I want or need to know. But everytime there is a bumb in our relationship I am terrified he will do it again. Sometimes I think if I knew for sure and he said it was over I would be better off than not knowing and being worried all the time. [Moderator's note] It may be of relevancy for your situation if you told us how you came to suspect your husband of having had an affair. This and other details are welcome for a better understanding of your case.
View related questions:
affair, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 I strongly believe in womens intutition, mine has never let me down yet.
You either decide to leave it or pick at it like a scab. If you can forgive him without even knowing the truth then move on now and put it to the back of your mind. Do everything you can to make it work and if it fails at least you know you did all that you could and at the end of the day it was maybe his fault.
If you need to know then call his bluff or follow him and confront him with facts.
It does however seem to me you are willing to move on so try and get through this without knowing for sure or knowing the facts as they will only hurt you. Just make sure he knows you know and that its his last chance xx
A
female
reader, moxiemay +, writes (24 July 2008):
moxiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you really think he would admit to an affair if he did not do it? My thoughts are if he did, say it talk about it and move on. If not it is an unresolved issue. Remember our instinct? Personally I would like to just forget I ever even thought it happend, but back to instinct. I am the one living the hell he is not. I very rarely bring it up, but it is always there under the surface. Either way, at least from my stand point it is slowly eating away at our relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, moxiemay +, writes (24 July 2008):
moxiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you really think he would admit to an affair if he did not do it? My thoughts are if he did, say it talk about it and move on. If not it is an unresolved issue. Remember our instinct? Personally I would like to just forget I ever even thought it happend, but back to instinct. I am the one living the hell he is not. I very rarely bring it up, but it is always there under the surface. Either way, at least from my stand point it is slowly eating away at our relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): But will you accept the answer he gives you or keep on asking until he says what you want to hear?
Just being objective here, so please don't bite my head off!
...............................
A
female
reader, moxiemay +, writes (24 July 2008):
moxiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd if he is in a lose lose situation, where does that leave me? It feels like to me he can just do what ever and deny it. That is why I feel I should push for an answer and then make a decision. Maybe that is the answer to my question!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): This reminds me of the time I got a kick in the ribs at about 4am from my other half. She had dreamed that I called her by another womans name. I was innocently fast asleep up until that point.
To all intents and purposes his 'cheating' is in your mind, although I dare say a woman's instinct is rarely wrong. If he's denied it you must have asked him about it yet you're not sure if you want or need to know?
It seems to me he's in a lose-lose situation if ever there was one! The inner workings of a woman's brain still perplexes me.
...............................
A
female
reader, moxiemay +, writes (24 July 2008):
moxiemay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis clothes (all) smelled of perfume. His behavior and our sexual relationship changed drastically. He came home on time but was taking extended lunch hours.
...............................
|
