| A ,
anonymous
writes: dear readers, i have a small problem that i jus wanted some advice oni've liked his guy for a few months now, we swapped numbers about 3 onths ago n since then hae been txtin, callin etc. we have slept together a few times. the other nyt i was round his n we got tlkin about his ex, he confessed to me he was still sleepin with his. i was shocked n asked him y he was botherin with me then. he repliedd that he likes me but because he was with his ex for so long, he doesnt no if he is still in love with her r jus loves her as a friend. my next question was so y sleep with her then to which he had no answer n sorta jus curved round it. i now want to no whether to persue he so called "relationship" or o jus right it off n move on?thank you x
View related questions:
his ex, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): you can't start a bf/gf relationship with secrets. how ever he has given you his secret. even tho this isn't a fully grown relationship. you have to ask yourself the same thing that anyone in a long term relationship should ask them selfs if. their domestic partner cheats or betrays them. "Can you ever trust him again? can you ever love him again?" (if you even love him)
over all I don't see this relationship working out as anything more then a friendship. because it doesn't seem like he knows what he wants, and you two are in different places in your lives. it just seems as tho your looking for someone that you know, you can start a relationship with. if he can't see what he has when he has it... maybe he will see what he had, when hes lost it, and if not then nothing broken.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): What you describe is a lot like what happened between my wife and I shortly after we started dating many years ago.
My wife left me after 11 years of marriage and got a divorce. I started dating someone else after a few months, but my wife and I still talked about things that we had left open, like what we were going to do with some things that were still at my house. One time she asked me down to her place and I went. She had made dinner and then proceeded to lead me into the bedroom. We ended up in bed for the night and several times after. She wanted to get back with me. It had been about 8 months since she had left me and about 3 months after I had started dating my new girlfriend. I confessed this to my gf and it turned out she was fine with it. She just wanted me to know what I wanted and did not want to try to force me to do what she wanted. I also dated 3 women after seeing my ex and finally decided that this new gf was for me. We have been together for 29 years and married for 22 years. I have never doubted that I made the right decision on the woman who I picked and she has never doubted that she made the right decision in allowing me to date others instead of trying to make me only see her right after my divorce.
You have to meke up your own mind what you need to do. His feelings for his ex might still be strong if he was with her a long time and he is probably trying to discover what he really wants. You can call it quits, force him to make a decision right now or allow him the time to make his own decision. Forcing him to make a decision before he is ready is probably the worst option. He might go along with what you demand and later regret it and you will eventually end up with a failed relationship anyway. If you can't accept what he is doing then it is best to just end it. If you think that he is worth staying with then you will have to allow him the time to make his own decision.
...............................
A
female
reader, cheri  +, writes (7 May 2008):
If I were you I would most certainly call it off now, don't just call it off (RUN).did you know he had a girlfriend when you started talking to him? Regardless you are in a new and what should be a very exciting time in a relationship and he is already being dishonest! Think about it for a minute. Hum, like I said run! He needs to figure out what he wants, and apparently right now he is not sure what that is.
...............................
A
female
reader, lovehate  +, writes (7 May 2008):
 Get out now. From what i have seen he likes you but has feelings for his ex. He's not going to trade up just yet. You'll get hurt.
I hope you make the right decision.
good luckkk :)
...............................
|
