A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a man 15 years ago and had a child with him. He wanted more than I was willing to give at the time and so we both went our separate ways. I still loved him I just felt as if I wasn't ready to get married and move away from my family. Anyway, we both married other people. I have since been divorced for 4 years. He has been separated for 3 three. We ran into each other a few years back and rekindle the love we had held onto the whole time. We have started a life with each other. We moved in with each other 2 years ago. We have recently bought a home together. I just discovered that he is still legally married to his wife. He has told me that he is just waiting on a court date and that all the papers have been filed. How can I believe him? He doesn't have any paperwork and documents from his lawyer. He says that he never received anything. When I went through my divorce I was given documentation. I am confused as to how he can commit to me in such a big way (the house) and still be married. I don't know what to do, please advise.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): He has to be lying to you and its odd youve been together 2 years and this divorce problem has only just come up. You need to clarify whats going on. I dont know about the US but over here in the UK a wife/ex wife can submit a claim to court, against any properties or money/salary her ex has...unless an agreement has been legally drawn up between them not to make claims against each other. It doesnt sound as if your partner has made one of these agreements, he seems rather vague about things. So you could find your home is at risk. Ask him for his lawyers name and address and say you wish to contact them to find out how the divorce is progressing And watch his reaction. If you feel he has been lying to you and is still married i strongly urge you to contact a lawyer yourself and find out how this impacts on you and your home.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): Well, here's the cold hard truth: he's probably lying. You don't go through something as serious as a divorce without leaving a large paper trail. You said that yourself in your post. If he were going through one, he'd have copies of the submitted documents if not only for his own records.It does sound like he's committed to you, but it sounds like he hasn't proceeded with a divorce for some reason. You already have the facts that he would have a paper trail by the history of your own divorce. Confront him again about why he doesn't have one as you know it's a false statement that he doesn't have anything.
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