A
female
age
30-35,
*arah89
writes:i have a boyfriend who has been thru alot he fears being cheated on so he hurts me first. he cheated on me and got the girl pregnat we are now back together but i fear it may happen again. he admits he has a problem and that he wants help and needs help. we have talked about a therapist there is not alot of money for one tho does anyone know where i could go for a therapist that would help.... i love him so much and i know we would be ok if he could get this help i have a son who is not his son but he has accepted him and my son looks to him like a father. i dont want me son hurt in this process i want us to work and i want our lifes to be happy together please any advise help anything let me know. its a really long story but i wont tell it all just to save you guys reading time i would be here all day if i were to explain it all please help me i just want everything to be beter and i am willing to put in ther time to help him so we can have a stron healthy relationship[Moderator's note: If there are more details that can be told to illuminate the case don't hesitate to write us and worry not about the length of your question please, if you structure your speech it can be easy to follow despite of the length. Thus if you think more details can help lead to more insightful answers we invite you to come with an update.]
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female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Being hurt in the past is no reason to be a cheater! My boyfriend has been hurt in the past and there is no way that he would cheat. There must be underlying issues. If you are having trouble finding a counsellor then I would be willing to work with the both of you. It would be a slow process over msgs on this site but I check msgs regularly and I am very prompt to reply. X
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Are either of you a member of a church? a lot of time you can seek counsel from a pastor/ priest who will have experience guiding you through these kinds of things.
As far as his relationship with your son is concerned, I would take some space from him (if this is financially possible) so that if things do end up going poorly and you two break up, there will be less of an impact on your son. I think the reason so many young couples still have problems with trust is because they invest so much so quickly (moving in too soon, promise rings, kids), and being distrustful is the only way they can guard against losing all they put into the relationship.
That's just my two cents.
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