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anonymous
writes: I have been with my current partner for 6 years. The mother of his daughter does not know we are together but he has separated from her. After 2years of being together he cheated on me for 9months. When I found out he promised to put things right, and he did for a year. He said he was truly sorry & would never cheat again, he told me we would live together and marry. Then he had a another affair with another girl. This is still going on 2 years later, plus an affair with another girl which lasted just a few months. I love him so much I don't want give him up; he says too many bad things have happened between us to work out, but then in the next sentence he will say he wants me and he will try and he will say he is not cheating. He plays so many mind games with me.He is still with other girl and he used to cheat on his daughter's mother. Do I fight for him or let him go? I love him so much and can't imagine life without him. ps this has left me with severe depression. I am 26 he is 29.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2005): Read your own words. I truly hope that you are asking for advice so that you can take some course of action. Men would not treat women this poorly if we didn't allow them to. Ask youself this, "Is this the relationship I would hope for my sister, best friend, daughter?" Have you found youself in this pattern before with other men or even your father? Awlays seeking love that is impossible? People, mostly women, tend to stay in their comfort zone even if it is an unhealthy one.There are so many sources of self help out in the world today. Please please please pick up a book or several books and read them. They will help you recognize the cycle you are in. This isn't love you are in.
A reader, TP, writes (17 February 2005): Hi, get out of this relationship, if he loved you he wouldnt cheat on you. It has affected your mental health negatively and that means he is bad news. He will never stop cheating on you. He is having a laugh, and i think he is very insecure and does not appreciate you. You can do better than that. Furthermore you may consider thinking about the fact that your relationship with him may make you the jealous type, the non-trusting type with your next relationship. Get out of it! Get a man who appreciates you. This one is ruining your self-esteem. Good luck, you deserve better!
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