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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating my guy for 6 months now. And already we have crossed a lot of hurdles that we shouldn't have had to. To start things off, he cheated on me with his son's mother when we first got together. I forgave him and all. But now we fight a lot and to make matters worse I am pregnant with his kid. He says that he loves me and he has no interest in getting back with her but he has blown me off on more than one occassion to spend time with her. But it has been 2 months since the last time. All i want to know is how i can I start feeling more secure about the relationship so that we can stop fighting before we end up breaking up?
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female
reader, Ne'cee +, writes (3 November 2006):
I am in the same position except my bf has not cheated with his Baby Mama ( as far as I know ) you have to set your foot down, I tol my bf he has no business even talking to her unless it is reguarding their child. If he has no interest he wouldnt still be "hanging out" with her. Its going to be hard because you cant just say dont talk to her anymore and that be done with. You both need to have a talk and you need to determine what you are worth to him. You both need a mutual understanding about the situation before you can move on.
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 Well as mother of his son i guess they will always be in contact. But it should be kept to a minimum. I dont mean to scare you hun but this is not the ideal relationship to bring yet another child into the world. However, being pregnant Im sure you want to work it out so i suggest telling him that enough is enough. Cheating men can be like toddlers if you don't stand firm they will test the waters again! Let him know if you get an inkling that he's cheated again you're gone!!! You deserve a man who won't risk breaking your heart and possibly giving you STD's! Just stand firm or he will walk all over you again.
As far as feeling secure...i'm not sure if you ever will, because he can't really not have contact with this woman since they have a child however i would let him know that he can not go off with her without you!
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (3 November 2006):
 This thing is going to take some communication. You have to put your fears and concerns out in the open. He shouldn't spend time with her just because. They should only discuss his son and nothing more. I think if you continue to let this behavior persist than you will have a problem. He has to let it be known were his heart is and were he wants to be. You are now having his child and you need that attention and security to know that he will be around whole-heartledly not half-assed!!! Communication is the key. Good Luck and Congratulations!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): i dont think you will ever feel totally secure in this relationship. He has no need to contact this woman from what you wrote. He has no children with her its just ex and ex. Before you stat planing a happy ever after with this guy talk to him about changing nappies, who gives the bottle in the night, who baths the baby what happens when its sick and need the doctor or the hospital. I think you are kidding yourself after only 6 months you will be bringing up junior by yourself. You need to envole your family in this. Your mom is a nana your dad is a grandad how can they feel good about this grandchild. Get out of this relationship NOW you have a child to think of . He can be part of the chlds life and do all the male bonding stuff but you know he wont be there . i hope it works but somehow i have my doubts
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): i dont think you will ever feel totally secure in this relationship. He has no need to contact this woman from what you wrote.
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