| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: ok. So I was going out w/ my boyfriend for almost 5 months. And everything was going GREAT up until like 2 months ago when he cheated on me w/ his ex that he went out w/ for 6 1/2 years. He came to me about it right away and was crying on the phone when he told me. And that's why I gave him a second chance. Before this happened, We were madly in love and saying "I love you" and such and he was such a sweetie to me. He introduced me to his family and hung out w/ me every second he got. But than after he cheated on me, things started going down hill. He started becoming more and more distant. And started telling me he wasn't sure if he loved me or not anymore and saying things like "How can I love someone else if I can't even love myself right now?" Well anyways... Just like 2 1/2 weeks ago, he broke up w/ me telling me that I was "just a rebound kinda thing" and he needs time to "clear his head" and I asked him if there'd be a chance that we'd get back together and he's like "If you want there to be. yeah" And than I asked him if all this was a game he's like "No. It was real" So now I'm just super confused. And he promised me he wouldn't get back together w/ his ex if I promised not to do what I do when I'm depressed which is cut. I don't know why he'd wanna get back together w/ her anyways. She treated him like crap and cheated on him numerous times. But yeah. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I just want him back so badly and for things to go back to normal like they used to be when we first started going out.
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, depressed, get back together, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006): I know how you feel, I look at it like this if he did it to you once he'll do it again. Sometimes I have to tell myself the same thing. But I dont think he's for real. Of course that's not something that you want to hear, but it's true. Best advice I can give, is ask a male friend or associate what he thinks from a mans point of view. He did tell you, you were a rebound, but only you determine your self worth, and I believe every woman is worth more than to be treated that way. As long as you look for someone to love you, you'll never find it, but the day you stop looking he'll find you.
best wishes
Trenicia
A
female
reader, tide +, writes (13 October 2006):
If he hasn't get over from his previous relationship, the best thing you can do is to keep away from him. He will need to sort many issues inside himself, and if you are by his side, he probably won't be able to appreciate the person that you are. Move on get along with your life and time will tell, but don't put your life on hold for him.
...............................
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 October 2006):
 Well things will not be exactly like they were when you first went out. Not ever. now you have hurt and baggage.
Don't Cut. It may be what ran him away. I had a friend in college who did that and I found it to be damned scary. Then a boyfriend...and it was way off the chart scary. People who have never experienced people who do Slice themselves...Dont Get it....I have and I DONT get it. See I remember feeling that my friends used it to control US more than her own world. And the guy...what a mess he was to get away from. I have done booze, anorexia...sexual addiction...I get the destructive behavior thing.....But. Cutting is a whole new kind of scary and Guys tend to bail on cutters...because its to close to suicide junkies...every time you do anything that displeases them...they what ever....THen you have to feel all helpless...then responsible...then freaked out...and eventually you feel Controlled and then very resentful of the constant attention seeking.
See if YOU can transfer that Destruction into some thing Constructive..(art, music...a hobby?).that is called Passion and can make you great. But to waste all that energy and anger on making scars or puking in a toilet as you sober up....or puking in a toilet to punish yourself for gaining half a pound...all that is just CRap.
Find something, do it well, and stop making those around you afraid of what you'll do next. It will not change their mind...I promise you.
And creative attention is much better. People flock to you instead of away.
Seek some form of counseling...it can help you understand why better.
Get healthy inside and use this time apart from him to become the best person you can be...For yourself. Then after a bit of time has passed...maybe he will be remarkably surprised by how much you have grown...if not someone else will!
...............................
|
