A
female
age
,
*ueeny63
writes:Hello...looking for advice...I must be stuck on stupid...Its been about 6 months ago that I started dating my ex boyfriend. We had a bad fight last year he said some horrible things. We had dated for 3 years, into the second year he cheated on me with his son's mother...she is bad new...but he still slept with her. He begged for forgiveness, I tried to forgive. Before everything I would ask about his child. Which I accepted..before he did his deed, we were open and talked about his situation with this woman who tries to make our lives impossible I pay no mind I have my own child and I told him she should take care of her other out of control children. He knows that after he did this to me he will not touch the topic of his child when we are together. I sometimes want to ask how he is doing but he clams up. He did this...I sometimes hate him, but we have both been through tragedies in our lives he lost his brother and dad the same week, and I lost my ex husband 10 months ago...so we are holding on to one another because we understand each other's pain. But I want to be more sympathetic to my needs. and I have asked him...he is not very emotional...I am in pain for losing my best friend (ex hubby) and I am trying to console my 8 yr old. I want more from my ex but I am so tired of asking. I just think its not right that he clams up on me when he visits his son..I do get cold shivers everytime I think of him going over there and the baby's mother is there...am I asking too much if I want to know when he goes and what is happening. He says he loves me...but its the insecurity that kills me...am I wrong!!??? Help
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Well, he did cheat on you, and he has emotional baggage when it comes to his ex. No wonder you can't trust him. I wouldn't!
Your problem is that you are comfortable in your situation, yet you are not happy in it. You have a choice - stay the way you are, or break up with the guy and find someone new who doesn't have this baggage. It's pretty simple, but it feels like the hardest thing in the world for one simple reason:
People in a rut find it almost impossible and extremely painful to break out of it and move forward with their lives.
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