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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been going out with this guy for three months now but I recently went on holiday for a month.I got back from holiday and he admitted to me that he had sex with another girl, but it didn't mean anything and he felt really bad about it.I'm not sure what to do as I really like this guy, but I'm not sure what to say to him. Do I give him another chance or just to let him go?What's your advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): love advice is a tough thing to give.
sometime the answer is so obvious and other times there is no true answer.
with your cituation i would let him go. as someone else has said the trust has been shattered. if you stay with him you'll always have a bit of doubt in you mind that he's gonna do it again. with this doubt in a relationshp it will be the enemy and will spoil any attempts to having a long relationship.
you have asked for advice but it is up to you what you want to do. just make the right one so you don't get hurt again but worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): One thing I know for sure, in the future, the time you two spend away from each other will only help to increase your anxiety that something is going on when he's not with you. The trust you were building has been shattered. And If he's going to do this within the first 3 months of dating you...well, girl, good thing you found out now rather than 3 years down the road. Why expend all your energy, stressed out, worried and frustrated trying to force this guy to be faithful to you. He simply is not worth the effort. Kick hm to the curb and chalk it up as a learning experience. Trust plays one the most critical roles in a relationship and if he's cheating now, you'll never be able to trust him. Take care my dear and I wish you well.
Hugs,
Irish
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A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (2 September 2005):
You must be feeling really hurt by his cheating on you, after three months you are still getting to know this guy. He told you about it and this is good. Whether you stay with him or not all depends on how much you like him. It's still early days so he may not be commited yet. If you decide to stay with him you will have to accept what he did as a mistake and put it behind you. You may find that it deepens your relationship.
Delila
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): Fortunately, you only invested 3 months of your very worthy self to this schmuck. He obviously didn't miss you when you were gone, didn't have any self discipline, and completely disrespected you. If he's doing this now, in the beginning of a relationship, try to imagine how awful he'd be to you if it were years later, when the passion fizzles. Get rid of him. Cheaters do NOT deserve second chances. His body is tainted and his heart is unfaithful. Can you really stand to be touched by him, either physically or emotionally? Move on, and move fast.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): He cheated on you so don't give him another chance. Dump him and get on with your life. Otherwise, he you stay with him, he's probably going to cheat on you again and again as he'll think that you'll always forgive him, no matter how many people he cheats you with.
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