A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a serious relationship with my partner for almost 3 years now we started off as the couple everyone wanted to be. We got on so well barely ever argued and when we did both of us really wanted to sort it out straight away and we would always understand each others opinion and appologise. He used to get really upset at seeing me unhappy and he always could make everything better with just a hug or saying the perfect thing. Looking back now we were far too attached to each other so much so we both used to not see our friends a lot just to go out and be together (dont get me wrong if either of us had wanted to see friends neither of us would complain or stop each other and i would always encouurage him to go for nights out as would he)Everyone would say we had such a funny relationship cause i didnt mind him looking at other girls and i used to joke about it as did he with me - lets be honest everyone checks other people out, whether your in a relationship or not! Just a few days before our year anniversary he went for a night out. I looked at his phone a few days later and noticed he had these texts from a girl and they both had talked about them kissing at that night out, i was obviously raging and split up with him, he admitted the whole thing and was genuinly upset about it. He made every effort with me and we got back together. We managed to get over it and it wasnt really an issue, it would get brought up from time to time but not a big a deal. After that i obviously wouldnt tolerate him looking at other girls which we both stopped joking about and he said he wouldnt go for nights out. From then on we were still in a good relationship but it had changed us. A few months later he took up going to a martial arts class and would be out a couple of nights a week which i didnt mind as it made him really happy. But he started hanging about with one guy who has had quite a bad influence on him and hes changed a lot. In July last year he started going for nights out again which to be honest i didnt have a problem with cause he kept to his word and hadnt been out in so long. The only thing that worried me is that we were sooooo happy before when he cheated and we had argued dramatically more since then. We found out in August we are expecting a baby, although he is really excited about it as am i hes not been as supportive as what i had hoped. He went out every single weekend for nights out sometimes 2 or 3 times a week from August till just before Christmas spending all our money and when i complained about it he would just laugh, he could watch me get so upset at the fact i hadnt spent time with him in ages and all he could do was just say, "so...?". He had to get an operation in January which is why he hasnt been able to go for nights out. He has taken up going to the gym 5 or 6 times a week and spending all his time with his friends at the weekends so i barely see him at all. I desided to move out of our house 4 weeks ago and it took him 3 weeks to even care enough to ask me back. Dont get me wrong we have been on talking terms most of the time and in touch most days which has been good but i have went from this perfect and i mean perfect relationship with someone i couldnt possibly love more to this person i hardly know anymore who has changed. He says he loves me the same but has just went out more because he feels that once the baby is here he wont be able to. Which is fine but he just doesnt understand my point of view and no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try he just doesnt care as much anymore. All i want to do is just spend time with him and feel the way we used to.I still havent moved back in, but had told him i would tonight. Today when i had spoke to him on the phone i had asked him what he was doing and he said that his friend had a party to go to for some girl but he didnt want to go with him. I then spoke to him about an hour later and said why didnt we do something and he told me he had other plans and that he was going to this party. I was really upset by his whole attitude i said i was so disappointed cause i feel he never wants to spend time with me and all he could do was just acuse me of being jealous of his friend and say he didnt know what we could do as i was pregnant! I actually feel so hurt, im sick of feeling so unhappy cause his constant attitude and never being able to understand my point of view anymore but i love him too much to leave him. I just dont understand whats happened to him, and i have no idea what to do! We are due our baby in 6 weeks and i just feel so alone and lost and he doesnt understand why! What should i do?
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anniversary, christmas, got back together, jealous, kissing, money, moved out, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 What can you do ? You'll just have to stick it out now till the baby's born.
Hopefully he'll buck his ideas up,
If not you'll have to leave him and get maintenance.
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