A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After going through a tough break up a year ago, I connected with someone I met at college. We started talking and hanging out, and we became very close friends. A month ago, he decided that we needed to take a break. He told me that he didn't like that I had lied to him. I had lied to him about how much some of our dinners cost. We reconnected a few weeks ago, and we were progressing well learning to trust each other again. And then I lied to him about my car being gone and needing a ride. He caught me in the lie, and now won't talk to me. Is there a way for this to ever be fixed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. I know it will be a long and rough journey, with an outcome I may not like. I wrote him a letter, apologizing for the lies I had told. I let him know that I was very sorry. I also decided to seek some professional help to understand why I lied to him. After he received the letter, he reached out to me and texted me, "Please stop. Stop hurting me." So, this may be the end of our friendship, but hopefully, I can go through therapy and understand myself better.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Stop lying to him and give him time to forgive you. Although, in all honesty, I think he might be overreacting a little bit. After all, those were harmless lies were they not?
Try to persuade him that you are willing to change and be honest with him from now on. I suspect catching you in these lies have led him to follow negative thoughts about the future. I am sorry if this is of litte use.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, elwhy +, writes (15 November 2010):
too me it doesn't sound like a big problem in my case, If you had to lie about something you must have a reason for it right? well why not apologize to him and give him a reason for lying to him.
If he wont listen, then give him some space to think about it. he'll eventually come back.
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