A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together just over 10 years, and are between 30-40 years old. He only had one sexual partner before our relationship, I had around 20. He is completely unable to maintain an erection with a condom. He can have normal regular sex fine, no problem. But whenever we attempted to use a condom he would go soft and not be able to finish. I just had surgery to remove cervical cancer and we are supposed to use condoms for the next year- which is a sentence for us not to have intercourse because it is impossible for him.I don't know what to do.I've never seen any other man with this problem- that they literally could not stay hard and finish because of wearing a condom.Has any other man on here experienced this?I don't know if this is relevant or not- but my husband's penis also retracts. Like, hard his is about 7 inches- but when he does not have an erection the entire dick goes up into his abdomen, with only the head showing and a circle of wrinkled skin. I actually asked a doctor about that, who said some men are like that- I just had never encountered anyone like that apparently? Usually if a man is soft, the penis just hangs there soft- my husband's literally retracts to inside of his body.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Youre welcome miss! Maybe he is scared of them like he knows u feel so good and then when the condom goes on...he knows that feeling will go away thus why he gets less excited and loses his erection. Does he have any health concerns? Does he drink a lot? How about exercise?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the two responses received so far. We have been surviving with other forms of sex to survive this past month (when nothing was supposed to go in at all).. but we both really miss the feeling of him being inside me.
Odds- I wish he'd try Viagra, because it seems like it would be a quick and easy fix.. but I don't think he could ever get over the embarrassment to talk to a doctor about it, he's quite the introvert. I'm glad to know that other men know about growing/showing. A relief to know we're not alone in the regular world..
Trancedrhythmear- we will try those brands, I think we have in the past, but it's worth another try. It is important to know that this is not an occasional problem he has with condoms- it is -any- time he has ever in his life attempted to use them. Never know though.. and he's probably more willing to try them again before seeing a doctor!
**Any other responses, experiences, opinions are still welcome. Thank You.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (12 November 2010):
 I'll agree that condoms make the whole thing less fun, though I've never had the problem he has. Viagra might work; if that doesn't, then a few weeks without sex or masturbation should get him hard as a rock no matter the cisrcumstances.
He can still finger you, though, even if he has to wear gloves. Check with the doctor to see if he can perform oral on you. And you can still blow him. So condomless sex acts are not entirely out of the picture.
As for penis size, he's a grower, not a shower. It has nothing to do with the problem mentioned, some guys are just that way. Doesn't interfere with anything, unless you happen to like playing with flacid penises, so it's nothign to worry about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Hi!
That has happened to me. He's not alone. When it happened I assured the woman it wasnt her and that it was me...when I see a rubber I think "Damn...there goes the good feeling". Ive tried ultra thin durex and trojans and love them...its possible he's just using the wrong type of condom for him. Have you picked one out together? That can be intimate too and a little more exciting for him. I hope your recovery from cancer goes well miss. Im sorry to hear and happy you are now in better health. Best to you both.
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