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He cant cum when I give him a blowjob because of the big "mental' component to it! What am I doing wrong?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 November 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2009)
A female Australia age 30-35, *ervy writes:

Hi Guys,

I've been going out with a friend of mine for about a month now, and although we're both VERY different we get along great.

However, the other night I decided to give him a blowjob, which he thoroughly appreciated (OK, who wouldn't), but after a while, he told me he probably wasn't going to cum. I didn't think too much of it, it was late, he was tired. But the next time, the same thing happened. Feeling kind of dejected, I asked him about it later. He told me it wasn't anything I was doing wrong (he's either a really good actor, or he was enjoying it), but that there was just a big 'mental' component to it for him (that I'm obviously not fufilling). He said he supposed he was more like a girl in that respect. I'm not particularly great at being 'a girl', so maybe some of you guys could help me out here (I know eventually I'm probably going to have to ask him straight out.). Anybody had any similar experiences? Anybody able to shed some light!?

Ta

mervy.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (15 December 2009):

bharat mehta agony auntSee, it is nature. ejaculation is not end of sexual activity. Nobody have sex for procreative purpose. It is for pleasure. Specifically for very subtle form of pleasure, 'spiritual pleasure' Spiritual element will not come in to vision at once, but it will take time, and demand great effort. You are on the way of pleasure is enough from start. If ejaculation do not come is not something wrong, but it is 'grace ' of nature, and should be regarded as such, not as a problem.

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A female reader, mervy Australia +, writes (20 November 2009):

mervy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

mervy agony auntthanks for the great answers guys,

they were really helpful!

mervy.

xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 November 2009):

Honeypie agony auntNot all guys can ejaculate by a BJ, don't take offense. I know my husband was never able to(before of me) and maybe 3 out of 10 times with me. Even after all these years. Some guys are very sensitive "down there" and it is a mix pf pain/pleasure which again can stop a guy from ejaculating.

Use it as foreplay. Or a break in the "regular" sex. As a tease..

Same with women, not all women are able to orgasm by oral. Just the way it is.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (19 November 2009):

DoubleM agony auntSome guys have an aversion to cumming in a girl's mouth because of ingrained beliefs that sex is essentially dirty and nasty. Often, such thoughts are instilled by religion or other societal pressures. In some cases, a guy may feel that the girl really doesn't want him to "let go." And in some cases, maybe she really doesn't.

In my experiences, there we're times when a young (more recently, older) woman giving me a blowjob was obviously very apprehensive about the result. Typically they were a first-timer, and I knew that the gush of cum in her mouth might be something that she wasn't really prepared for - especially due to volume.

Sometimes, I could sense their dread about it, especially when she is a first timer, and it was much harder to release. Many girls are surprised that sperm usually has a very strong flavor, especially the first time, and some girls may not like it right away.

In my case, I would never want a woman to be shocked or somehow offended or mortified. Try to understand that a man shooting his load into a woman's mouth is, for some of us, the most intimate thing in life. It's hard to explain, but we have to know that the woman really wants us to do it.

Once we know that our woman either enjoys it, or wants to satisfy that way, it is totally enjoyable to give her all. Some can't seem to get enough. Perhaps you are experienced swallowing cum, and can in some way let him know that you really do want it. Sucking with enthusiasm usually helps. Hope that "sheds some light on the topic."

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