A
female
age
26-29,
*AMnotYou
writes:im in a bit of a pickle and ive gotten myself caught in a deep depression and im super paranoid...so back story...i dated myy ex boyfriend for 2 months and ultimately broke up because i was naive and stupid and would kiss him. (pathetic I kn ow) and it was weighing on me for like 6 months... after he broke up with his most recent ex...we started talking again and we...well we had phone sex...and now everyime hes upet he "texts" me and im obviously a willing participant (please dont judge) i just wanted to prove to him i wasnt as weird as i used to be...so we kept texting and he goes we should really hang out we havent hung out since last summer...and me being hopelessly and completely devoted to this boy of course jumped on the oppurtunity so i of course tell my bestfriend im gonna hang out with him...so everyone is tellin me this is a bad idea...so i hang out with him and at this piont i has still never made out with anyone so he asked if i wanted to makeout...well yeah we made out and did other things and i ended up getting a home run...ya know home base... so i told my bestfriend who i trusted with my life and she went and told her ex who she was in love with and who just happened to be a jerk and hate me already so he called me the "W" word on fb and told me i was going to hell and was going to end up dying from aids and that i shouldnt waste something so special on someone who wasnt going to love me anyway...that hurt so bad and guess what! she told numerous people and im so scared my ex is gonna find out i told my best friend...because he told me to not say anything and i dont blame him its super embarassing...what should i do? should i feel bad? should i still be friends with my bestfriend? is my ex really using me like everyone says he is? am i actually a "w" word like her ex said i am? and what do i do? im just so annoyed and everytime i see him flirting with another girl on fb i get sooo mad! ...and did i mention him and my bestfriend kissed?! yeah suckss!
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aids , best friend, broke up, flirt, her ex, my ex, phone sex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, iAMnotYou +, writes (16 November 2010):
iAMnotYou is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi guys thanks it helped a little! :) to the annoymus poster thanks and yeah im a strong christian and have a very strong relationship with god! but for some reapn in this situation all the prayers in the world are not pulling out of this spiralling mistake that is going to bug me foreverrr or so it seems..and to youwish haha youve got my bestfriends ex spot on...thanks for no judging but i feel as if i must add...as much as im not having fun with the after math i dont however regret ,y deacion to do it! just telling my bestfriend might have been bad! THANKS AGAIN :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): First, this is so high school drama. You gave in to telling what happened because that's what girls do, they tell their best friend. You shouldn't have, but there's nothing you can do now. I would suggest to talk to your friend and tell her why she betrayed your trust. After this conversation, you can decide whether to keep her or not. As for the boy. Move on. The fact that he didn't respect you means that he doesn't like you enough to wait for you two to get to the right place and time to be physical. You are young, you made a mistake. Please don't make this "giving in to sex" a habit. It will hurt badly. Trust me, you don't want to learn from experience. It's going to be very tough to be strong, but it's worth it. In the end, it is better to date when you don't need to. Be whole, grow up, learn, be single before you try the boy thing. The best dating is the one you do with the person you are going to marry. Everything before that is pure practice, and that's why you can't be giving your body to everyone. Save that special thing for your husband. You won't regret it. As for the consequences of the action, there's no easy way out. Doing stuff out of place carries consequences. Just don't take things personally. You are not a "w" etc, etc. Learn through this experience so that you can do better in the future. It seems so stupid now, but what I told you is the best way. Hey, I'm only 24, but I'm already "big" enough to know that the mistakes we make as teenagers are so stupid...then, when you get to be my age, you will regret many things. Even though you are young, you still have a lot of responsibility to prevent future pain. Your older self will thank you one day. Listen to yourself in the future, and just don't do it. Hope this helped! By the way, if you haven't already, I'd work on getting to know God first. He offers the best type of relationship. Once you get that one down, you will be ready for all the ones to come.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Yeah, your best friend should have kept her mouth shut. First of all, you're not the "W" word. BUT, if he's flirting with other girls and not wanting it known that you two were together, that doesn't bode well for you. If he cared about you, he would talk about you to everyone, show you off, and be totally into you.
Your ex is an idiot, and is the real "W" word. Your best friend is untrustworthy and needs to be confronted about it. Her jerk ex is rat filth dumpster man gum on your shoe, and who gives a flying rat's what the asshat thinks of you? Apparantly, he's not one to judge, so forget about him and the crap he says.
If your ex has a problem with you telling your best friend, call him on it. If he's really in it for you, why doesn't he want the two of you to be known?
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