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female
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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago on instant messenger well we actually both broke up with each other. we went out for almost two years and during that time he moved and the only way i got to talk to him was over the phone..we broke up cuz he was sick of me not calling everyday and he said he jus wasn't feeling the love anymore. i want to call him but i dont know if i should, after the whole break up thing.. i haven't heard from him since then and im worried i certainly didn't want us to end the relationship the way in which we did what should i do ? should i call him outa the blue and just start talking ? should i have a reason to call him? .....hopeless girl
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): If you want to call him, then do it! HOWEVER, I'd caution you to think first what result you hope to get by calling.
Do you want to get him to change his mind? You could try, but if he has moved, its unlikely that he would change his mind - and your feelings would still be hurt.
Are you angry over the break-up? Sad? Telling him he's a jerk is likely to result in him refusing to talk, so I wouldn't recommend that, either!
It sounds as if he is no longer interested in the relationship as he once was, and truthfully, we do change and want different things as our lives progress. Not really his fault, just the way it is.
Maybe you want to let him know you feel sad that the break-up happened - especially over IM! and that you were disappointed, but that you wish him well, and will move on with your own life. If you felt anger, you could say that you were a little surprised and angry when you got the news.
NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD SAY THAT!!! But to give you some ideas if you do call.
Again, if talking to him will help you get closure, then there's nothing to lose in picking up the phone.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 What can anyone say to you? It is hard to be at the end of a relationship but it is over.
The only reason why you could be hopeless is if your trying to hang on to a dead relationship. Let it go, have a good cry, and get on with your life.
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