A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:last night my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years together. i took it pretty bad. he said he was no longer happy and doesnt think we are a good match anymore. i cried and begged him to try to work things out but he's firm about it being over.I feel like ive lost the love of my life. i feel pretty foolish that he saw me in such a distraught state i dont want him to think im crazy or pathetic. even though i am very sad and upset should i apologize to him for how i acted and tell him i respect his feelings and accept the break up?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 February 2013):
 It's his loss, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You'll be just fine, Sweetheart. We've all been there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): thank you guys for your advice! its really hard i feel so empty and helpless. and most of all rejected.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 February 2013):
You absolutely do not owe him an apology. The best way to show him how much you respect his feelings is to have zero contact with him. None. If you do try to apologize I think he will most likely think you are pathetically trying to reach out. Don't give in to that temptation. Cold turkey, as much as it hurts, is better for you in the long run. Listen to the aunts/uncles on this, Honey.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
 of course you cried and begged him to work it out...
gawd it sucks when someone breaks up with you...
you clearly will tell him you respect his wishes if you leave him alone and get on with your life.
I'm sure he expected you to cry if you were not expecting the break up.... ugh I remember breaking up with my first boyfriend... he cried.. I cried... we both cried.
I don't think he needs you to apologize.
it might be better to just go no contact and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): I remember in high school when my boyfriend broke up with me. We were both seniors. We dated for two years. I thought we were serious and that we would get married someday. He was the one that said he loved me and of course I took that to heart.Then one day, he broke up with me. My world was devastated. He truly broke my heart. I had loved him. I took it hard and did some stuff that I wish I hadn't. Our senior year was not up yet. He always promised he would take me to the prom no matter what happened between us, but he took someone else and no one asked me because the guys all thought I was going with him. I went alone (my parents made me go) and I had to sit there and endure watching him dance with another woman from our class. At least other guys asked me to dance. I couldn't wait for my high school graduation and to grab that diploma and get off that stage and get out of that town. I rarely returned to that town unless to see my parents.I ceased all contact (we ended up going to the same college) so I would see him from a distance. He got married right away. I couldn't believe it. His wife took him for a ride in their marriage and spent everything. Karma is good.I never went back to my high school reunions, ever. I didn't need to feel that pain or see him and his wife and family. The pain of that break up never went away. Then I heard his wife divorced him, kicked him out. Again, karma has its justice.I did move on and met other men and got married. I have to look back and tell myself it was never meant to be and that what was waiting for me in the wings was 100 times more better than what I could have had.Try and do the same. I hope my little life experience has helped.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2013):
 If you have a great need to apologize then do so and then respect his wish and leave him be.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 February 2013):
Everyone is entitled to one embarrassing break-up.
If you feel you HAVE to apologize then go ahead. He probably doesn't care either way.
In my opinion, the best way to handle a break up In most cases is to stop all contact with them. It makes getting over them easier, prevents you from embarrassing scenes, and sometimes even causes them to think twice due to the absence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): It can feel like you have lost yourself when a relationship ends. It's normal to be distraught after being together for a couple of years, so I don't believe you should apologise. Its probably best at this point to give him time and space because chasing after him is just going to push him further away. You will be okay whatever happens :)
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