A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago. Although we tried to remain friends, it didn't quite work out because he's been pretty undecisive regarding whether or not he wanted to get back toghether. As a result, we've stopped talking to each other for the time being.His sister and I are still friends though and since he confides in her, she's given me the low down. Apparently he said that he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now because he's afraid that a serious relationship could lead to marriage and he's afraid to be so committed so young (we're both in our early 20s). He claims he wasn't unhappy with me and still loves me but feels that he wouldn't be able to "do what he wants to do" if we were together. He feels like we met too early, in other words before he was ready to settle down. I don't know what to make of it, I mean I know there are plenty of other guys out there. At the same time, I have a hard time believing I'll ever be entirely happy with another guy. There was just something special about the way we clicked. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? If so, would a guy this confused "come back"? If he does, should I take him back? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH relationships!!!!! I feel like becoming the crazy dog lady and living with like 19 of them.Help :(
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male
reader, M][KE  +, writes (7 July 2008):
Hey, I'm about the same age as you and have been in a similar situation. So I hope what I say helps...Loads of people our age, just want have fun and have no thought of a serious relationship yet. And to be honest you cant blame them; it's the best time to have fun without any responsibility.And from what you say it sounds like your boyfriend has identified that this is what he wants at the moment. Therefore you just have to think about this yourself and understand what you want.My ex girlfriend who was the first girl I ever loved; she lied to me and never told me how she felt. Our relationship was like yours, I wanted it to get serious but she didn't. Ultimately if you both want different things, then you will have to accept that your paths lead different directions. However I believe you should still have a talk with him yourself and find closure!You probably feel horrible at the moment, but believe me you will find someone else you just have to make the decision to find them. Don’t wait around for him, be confident about this breakup; understand where things went wrong and understand he’s not coming back only then can you move on. It sounds so hollow when someone tells you that time is a healer, but it's the only thing that mends a broken heart.Most people think they will never find someone like there ex and end up comparing new partners to old. All I can say is that although you did 'click' with him in many ways and always remember him. These moments will also happen with someone else and will be even better…I hope this helps putting things in perspective for you and hope you feel better. Always tell us how it goes people like to know…Best wishes M][KE
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Not a very comfortable situation to be in; it is not good for you to be in this turmoil; all this confusion; not good;
I suggest you speak to the guy personally; don't listen to info from his sister or friends; info via friends or family might be misleading no matter how well intended;
Have a good talk to this guy in person and then decide;
BUT
If you don't resovle the issues; you must MOVE ON; you can not live with hope of maybe one day!
No I don't think you will need that many dogs! (lol) maybe just one to keep all the guys away from your door!
Good luck: Keep smiling!
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