A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone got any ideas how to get out of this sticky situation? After making a promise not to go on dating sites again,my boyfriend showed up suddenly whilst i was in a dating chatroom. He has caught me for the sixth time. He just walked out before christmas and it looks like he wont come back this time. I have done several things that most will consider cheating. Some he doesnt know about. I really love and miss him,he doesn't know how much he has hurt me. He is too stubborn to answer his phone and i know his sister is lying to me that she hasnt seen him. There's never anyone in his flat. Has he met someone else? Why won't he grow up and face me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): you are in the wrong and you've done the damage not him. He is moving on with his life and he deserves someone else. This is the consequence of you loosing his trust now its time YOU grow up and face reality. Sorry to say this but in this situation you had this coming!
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Hi,
Are you addicted to dating sites? I'm asking because you were in a committed relationship, you say you love the man, your details says you are 30-35 years old, and you repeatedly break a promise to your boyfriend not to go on dating sites? Also you seem to be in total denial that this could actually hurt him? To me that sounds like a true addiction. My guess here on why he doesn't bear to face you anymore is that he feels you haven't at all respected his feelings and you don't even admit that your behaviour is a problem. Did you ever try to put yourself in his position and at least confirm to him that you understand that he is being hurt even though you don't think you could stop anyway?
If you really want him back, my advice would be to take a good look on your part here and admit to yourself and to him that what you are doing is hurtful to him and destroying your relationship. Then look for help, there are counselors and other help-groups that could be of great help for you to let go of the addiction to have constant affirmation from people on a dating site. Even if he doesn't come back it could still be of good help to you to understand why you are in such need of these sites.
If you don't want to get help to stop going in the chat rooms and if you don't agree this is a problem, then maybe this man is not the right one for you anyway, then let him go and wait for someone who will not find this a problem.
Wish you luck and happiness!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 You've lost him leave it alone and stop calling. Now you can chat all you want on those sites and not have to break promises or cheat on anyone, works out perfectly in my opinion.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (3 January 2008):
 LOLoooh you're a cracker you are.why doesn't He grow up?.. him too stubborn..Lady. its people like you that make me want to start killing again."He has caught me for the sixth time." 6th? patience of a saint by the sounds of it."He is too stubborn to answer his phone"You think he might be too angry.. too Hurt by your actions to answer his phone?oh hell thats this?" I have done several things that most will consider cheating."you know.. you're right, he is in the wrong and acting like a stubborn spoilt little brat. how dare he want a girlfriend who doesn't cheat on him. if you Really loved him. and i mean Really.. not some silver-screened hollywood ideal of riding off into the sunset. you would have stopped going to dating sites after the first time and you would have "Done stuff" that would be considered cheating.I feel bad for this guy. however i'm happy he's seen the light and is moving on.sorry if you disagree. however the truth hurts.
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