A
male
age
36-40,
*ussie1
writes:My partner and I have been together for a long time. For the last 3 months tho, we have been living in different states, with plans for me to move in with him when I had found a job, the week before I was due to move down, he broke it off... This absolutley kills me, he claims that he "just cant do a relationship" at the moment. But, he talks to new people on the net, meets them, clubs with them, but claims thats all... I "think" i believe him, but i am not sure. But none of this gets me, you see... as i had planned to move anyway, i had no choice but to move in with him, until i find a place of my own, but every night we seem to still have the same old sex we always did. He has opened up to me the last week or so, since he called it off, states he does still love me, but cant be in a relationship. States has alot on his mind at the moment, and has even told me what, but the more we have sex, the more i hope we will get back together. How can i stop this, whilst we are living together, without hurting either of us?Especially when it feels so right...
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (31 May 2007):
 You have to let him go and everything that goes with him, or you'll end up hurting yourself more than just hoping you guys will end up together again. He claims he still loves you, but can't be in a relationship. But if he can't be in a relationship, why is he trying so hard to find someone new on the net? And why is he still having sex with you then?
The way I see it, he wants to have you as a back up until he finds something better (thus, the desperation in meeting up with new random people), and in doing that, he has no other way but to string you along. But its no solely his fault though as you've fueled it even more by allowing him to trespass your personal life. By continuing a sexual relationship with him, you're in a way telling him that he has nothing to worry about, just continue using you as you are enjoying yourself too! Why would he still want to be in a relationship with you when he's already getting what he wants. I suggest you get your head around this and do something about it. You could start by cutting off any sexual contact with him, and then when you're ready, move out. Good luck.
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