A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, some of this is going to sound bad. If you're going to judge the situation, please just dont. We ask for help, not judgement and criticism.I've been with my bf for about 6 months. He smokes weed, and used to do bars (xanex) I noticed that he is more agressive and mean when he takes them and asked him not to. He promised he would quit taking them. Promised. That was a HUGE deal to me. I made a big deal out of it so he would see how much it meant to me that he would. Well, I found out that he got barred out again. and never told me. We got into a huge fight about it and almost broke up. He promised he wouldnt do it again and would never lie or break another promise to me. I've been hurting so bad that he would break a promise to me. If he would lie about something small like getting messed up for his friends birthday how could i know he isnt lying about everything. or important stuff?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 *psychological (not physiological) Brain likes it, but that's due to habit mostly.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 March 2010):
mmm... anti-drugs people may not be able to give you the clear advice you want.
Which drug makes him aggressive, as far as I know, weed usually makes people laid back and slow. I hear that this Xanex thing is far more addictive, but that's all I know about it so far.
Of course he cannot take drugs if they make him aggressive and mean, and unfortunately if he cannot keep his promises, then you can no longer be with him. On the whole, weed is not physically addictive, although people who smoke a lot may develop a physiological need for it, a little like people who watch too much porn.
I suggest you ask him to contact his doctor for help getting off all drugs. He also needs to cut contact with his usual friends who may be supplying him. It is hard to give up things that you like and have become a habit with you. Don't expect him to do this alone, and sometimes he will fail, and may take drugs again, especially at social events like birthdays. Get him active, going out all the time, this prevents drug use, as he'll be in public where it is illegal. See if he can replace drug taking with a useful hobby which takes up his attention and keeps his mind of what he is missing and giving up.
Unfortunately you can't force him to give up drugs. He'll give them up when he wants to and he'll be more dedicated then. At the moment, please assume that he will still be taking drugs when you are not around. Until you see him changing his friends, his lifestyle and going to get some medical help, please assume he's still using.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy beliefs are that weed isnt a drug. But I dont want to get into that argument. But taking bars every 2 months or so doesnt make someone a drug addict? He is a very good person and I just want advice on how to start building that trust back
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 March 2010):
The fact is he is a drug addict. Only he can face his demons. And he's not done that, instead he broke his promise. So now you need to make a decision, and that is whether you are happy to settle for a man who so readily broke a promise, of whether you'd be better off finding someone else. And please don't make the mistake of thinking he will change. If he won't change for his own sake, he won't for anyone else.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 This is the important stuff, this drug is addictive, due to its short half-life (3 hours) it is one of the more addictive benzos. Addicts can consume up to 14 mg per day. Withdrawal effects include psychosis and epileptic-type seizures.
Your boyfriend is a druggie. There is no judgment in that statement, nor criticism, just fact.
If you want to have a drug addict for a boyfriend you need to be aware his symtoms will include telling lies and breaking trusts.
Its your choice.
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