A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:He blocked me on Instagram and lied to me about it saying his app had a problem. Yes I believed it. I have another account on Instagram for makeup and fashion posts. He commented on another girl’s picture saying “Dayyyuuumm”. He has all his exes and women he’s slept with on social media. When I confronted him about the comment he was so defensive and said I don’t let him “grow”. He also said he has a lot of women dead to him with relationships he’s built over years and that I wouldn’t understand the bond they shared. He threatened to break up with me over this. What is this behaviour?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): Honeyepie and wiseowl are right. I'd like to add that to some people, sexual connection itself is a bond. Such monkey brained men 'collect' women and feel a sense of power that all these women are their sexually conquered ones. No matter what they talk to these women, keeping in touch and a good bond in itself for them is like refreshing their conquest every time. It's all about validation to these men. Men who seek such political power are often insecure within.They might not admit or even be aware of their silly validation seeking behaviour. All I can say is they aren't psychologically healthy enough to sustain a good relationship/marriage with! A monogamous marriage is for men and women of healthy, secure minds with firm values and beliefs. This seems like a guy who isn't capable of more than sex IMO.
A
male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (24 June 2018):
 It's stupid behaviour on his part. Move on, you deserve so much better than this lying manipulative guy
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 June 2018):
 Pfft. "Dear" and "Dead" are almost the same thing anyways in this case. You above all people are an example of this!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2018):
 You know what he is like, you know he isn't going to change - not for you or anyone else.
THIS is who he is - an absolutely self-absorbed guy who cares about no one BUT himself.
End it with him and find someone who doesn't NEED a whole "harem" of admirers to make himself feel good. Find a guy who actually has some SUBSTANCE! INTELLIGENCE! INTERESTS! who can converse, who enjoys spending time with you IN person (and not just live on Instagram) Someone who wants to build a healthy relationship and future with you.
Someone VERY unlike this guy.
Sorry, OP you knew what he was like when you met him and you then presumed he would CHANGE his slimy ways for you. That isn't realistic. Guys like this don't generally change. They are just this shallow and self-absorbed.
End it - let him talk to all his flings and women - WHY care?
You deserve more and better than he has to offer.
Don't "sell" yourself short to some guy who doesn't even care.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 June 2018):
 You are his girlfriend and he blocked you? Honestly that has shady written all over it. If he was trustworthy and had nothing to hide he would not block you, he obviously doesn't want you to see his posts and well he probably doesn't want other girls to know he is in a relationship. Save yourself any more heart ache and finish with him. You deserve to be treated better than this. Never allow a man to take you for granted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt’s dear* instead of dead. Sorry for the typo.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2018): He was trying to hid it all from you my ex did that and we had a breake up over it. I would ignore him and make him chase you pretend like it doesn’t bother you.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (22 June 2018):
 This man is a serious player, sleaze, womaniser, etc;, etc;.You are wasting your precious time with him and he is definitely using you to some degree and definitely to his OWN ADVANTAGE.His ego is bigger than his head and this isn't good, certainly not for you!You should say goodbye forever and let him have his way with whomever he pleases, but just don't be a part of it.The bottom line, this guy is a serious game player!He's NOT ready for a serious and monogamous relationship, so if this is what you're expecting/wanting, you will NOT get it from him.If you choose to remain with him, his behaviour will certainly continue and you know this, because he's already made it abundantly clear to you.He WON'T change, so why stay?You must know your own worth, because you are surely worth so much more than this.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 June 2018):
He threatened to break up with YOU?
Your response to that should be "Yes PLEASE!"
Then follow it up with blocking HIM. He has a huge ego problem and objectifies women as conquests. He keeps them there as testimonies of his virility. You do NOT want someone like this. Ever.
Trust me. If you stay with him, it's only a matter of time that you'll be reduced to being part of his "collection".
Are you worth more than this?
If the answer is "yes", then you need to kick him to the curb sooner rather than later.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2018): Is he your boyfriend? If so, for how long? Maybe I should ask, for how much longer?
What is this behavior? If he's your boyfriend; he is what is called a "player."
A player keeps a harem of women. He keeps record and file of all his women. Periodically he will disappear; and that's when he makes his rounds.
You won't let him "grow?" What you must do is let him GO!!!
In these situations, most women don't listen unless you hear it from another woman. This "behavior," as you choose to refer to it; is typical of a man who takes women for granted. He's a master of head-games; and cheats like it's his last day on earth. He prefers women with "clingy" tendencies, and low self-esteem. They are easy to manipulate; and will believe anything he says. Or they will pretend to, in order to keep him. He always has the upper-hand; because he knows all the girls have a weakness for him.
Now you've heard a man's point of view. I will now leave it to the women. You won't appreciate my advice. I'd kick him to the curb. I have too much dignity to let anybody make a fool of me; and then have the unmitigated gall to threaten to breakup with me! And get this! For catching him in the middle of a lie!!! You've got incriminating-evidence to back you up!
Oh...and on top of all this; you happen to know he has all his exes and women he slept with on social media. He keeps a catalog! Now that takes a lot of balls!
Are you really that naive?!! Seriously?!!
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