A
female
age
26-29,
*issJoanFrancis
writes:So I got engaged August 11th of this year. We are together two years . He told me the day we got engaged we will set a date 2 weeks after so I got excited and thought he really wanted this. I had my hopes built up but instead he got my mind busy with a small engagement party. Now when I mention getting a date he says we are too busy and haven't the money. when I said getting a date costs nothing he just said we have bills to sort first which we actually don't. We want to get married in 2 years and ive told him just having a date means the world to me but he does not seem one but interested. I feel dispointed and worried and all he can say is wait. It makes me think if you are not ready to marry me why did you ask?!. Im not sure how to get him to realize that it means the world to me and him telling me wait hurts. What do I do? I'm gutted. Getting a date dosent mean we are marrying in the morning its just giving me a frame of time to work with. What do I do :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2014): You're still really young (your age bracket being 18-21) so don't feel to panicked about rushing for a wedding!My husband and I knew we would get married since we were 17, but we didn't bother getting engaged until we were 23 because 1) when you're young people are far too busy worrying that "you don't know what you want" and that it probably won't work because you're young (don't listen to all the haters!) 2) what's the point in getting married really young when going to be together forever anyway and our personal priority was 3) making sure we owned a home, a place that was ours, before marriage (because some people spend obscene amounts of money on a wedding, and subsequently live with their mum and dad...not cool) we were renting and didn't want to see money go on a wedding when it could've given us our home.He probably really wants to marry you, but wants to make sure you're financially stable before getting plans into action. You don't need 2 years to plan a wedding, you almost set yourself up for a massive anti climax spending 2 years building up to one day of your life! We planned our wedding in 9months, it was a beautiful and simple affair because ultimately it's a celebration of your commitment infront of those nearest and dearest. A friend spent 3 years planning her wedding and to be honest she turned into a moody cow, because everything had to be this or that and you weren't allowed to do this...just relax!!Sit down together, be calm, ask what finances he's worried about, reassure him that setting a date isn't the end of the world - ask him when he can see it happening, it's his wedding too. Work out together what needs doing before you can start planning but then just enjoy the commitment :-) be happy to be engaged, don't start panicking about what should or could be happening but really get to know one another and what you'd both like from your wedding, your honeymoon and your future life together (conversations about dreams, aspirations, children or no children, future home...) talk about things that are going to be part of your lives together. I went to a few "wedding fayres" and some brides are psychos - demanding a certain venue, certain colours...don't be that nightmare bride lol enjoy planning your special day together and just relax! :-)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 October 2014):
 Maybe he has bills that need sorting that he hasn't mentioned to you?
Do you have a venue picked out? That's often one of the things that need to be booked well in advance. I'd go over there, learn about the options and what things may cost, if you need a deposit, that sort of thing. Have them give you available dates for 2 years from now. Then take all of that back to him and suggest you'd like to pick one of the dates.
If he won't pick a date then perhaps the 'engagement' was more of a way of mollifying you and you may have to ask yourself if he's sincere about the wedding and marriage.
I expect there's something he hasn't told you. How old is he and how old are you?
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