A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello Cupiters!Okay, I started talking to this one guy..he's 26. Just by phone and text..we still haven't met because I think it's still too soon. I want to give it a lil more time since I met him thru an online dating site. Anyways, it's been cool..so far. He keeps saying let's meet now..and now! I'm like no rush!But today he politely asks personal question..says 'If you don't want to answer it's ok.' Goes on and says..Have you gone all the way with a guy before?' I'm like okay I'll be honest..why not? I reply with..'Yes, I have. I know you haven't asked but I'll let you know now..I'm not an easy girl.' And then he stopped texting..?!? Guys and gals point of view..PLEASE!
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male
reader, tux +, writes (13 December 2008):
 If he just asked "Have you gone all the way with a guy?"
I would say that he is not looking to save his virginity for marriage. I think he's just trolling for a virgin to deflower or an easy date.
IF he asked, "are you a virgin?"
That has more plausibility to the other way, but can still lean toward what I first said..
Now of course if he mentioned he was a virgin and waiting for marriage that would be a different thing... But I would go on and say that someone waiting to lose virginity after marriage would have more of a decency to let you know things will not work out rather than stop texting you abruptly. I think this guy is possibly a major tool, and you are better off letting him go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): i think the 'not easy' part was the problem for him
forget him
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Either he's looking for a virgin or looking for someone who's easy. You took yourself out of the running, consider yourself lucky, he sound like a wanker.
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (12 December 2008):
 I would guess that he is planning to wait for marraige to have sex and is wanting to marry someone who's waited as well. I was like him once. I waited until I was 25 before I finally gave up.
Even for guys, there is something very romantic about the idea of saving sex for only one person: your spouse. You can't blame him for that.
However, he's probably going to miss out on a lot of really great people if only considers virgins to date or marry.
On a side note. It is a really great thing for a girl not to be easy. It means a lot to me as a guy if a girl is choosy with who she decides to bed. Since I didn't wait to have sex until marraige, I no longer expect to marry a virgin. However, I have never been promiscuous and I don't want to marry someone who has.
I wouldn't worry about it. There are a lot of other guys out there.
A word of warning though: I think its very wise to not divulge a lot of details about your past to your partner. However, don't ever mislead someone who into thinking you are a virgin if you aren't. When the truth comes out, and eventually it will, your partner will feel betrayed, deceived, and deeply hurt.
Instead, find someone who will accept you for who you are.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Sounds like he wants a virgin and if you are phone texting anyway he may be wondering who else you are texting as well. Some guys cannot cope with competition at all, they like to think they are the only one. It s not easy when you don't know someone in person and so don't worry too much about this sensitive guy.It's never a mistake to be honest anyway, some people take things on board differently than others and he' s obviously not got any patience or determination to stick around and probe deeper. good luck. hope this helps.
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