A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi so I'm seeing this guy, we started hanging out 2 weeks back. And then things escalated to a kiss and then cuddles, I am not sure if we're dating or not, I'm scared to ask him but he is now asking me for sexual favors like a handjob, even though I have told him that I'm not ready for anything sexual. Tried raising that issue with him and then he went on to post on his WhatsApp status saying " when the girl you like starts showing a red flag but you ignore because it's only the first one". He then asked for my panties after he gave me his tshirt. What does that mean ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2022): What it means is that you have a problem saying no to people when they push you to do things that make you uncomfortable.
This is a clear sign of a low self esteem.
It's an indication that you don't value yourself or your body, as we all need to do..
So I will pull out the old saying "if you don't love yourself, no one will"
Although this isn't love this is about him getting laid and going away bragging about it to his friends...
So let's replace that saying with "if you don't value yourself no one will"
If you let him cross boundaries you have stated clearly you don't wan2 cross, and you give in to his sexual demands, he is going to take whatever he wants from your body and disregard you in the way you discard a chicken wing after picking the meat off.
You will feel used like a dirty dishcloth.. and why will he use you? Because you LET him. If you let him do things to you against your wishes it's down to you, not him- men are LITERAL creatures. You gave him the go ahead.
Think of body as your temple.. treat it as such. Any individual that steps into your temple, ignores the house rules and gets mud everywhere is an intruder. You have said NO, any DECENT guy will respect that.
Instead of RESPECTING AND CARING about your feelings he is guilt tripping you into doing what HE WANTS. This is not a boy you want to keep in your life any longer.
You need the confidence and self esteem to have a relationship with a real man. Until you build that up, I advise you to cool it with horny little boys that couldn't handle a real woman anyway
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2022): What a douche!!
Run a mile, he sounds like a scary one to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2022): You jumped at this guy way too fast OP! He is now taking advantage, seeing how far he can push his luck with you. He is a total PIG. Disgusting in fact. Who wants someone like that?
You made a mistake moving too fast with him and he is just wanting more. Keep sex off the table for a long time. You are so young. No need to rush into situations which are below your worth. If you even so much as hint to him you are willing to lower your standards, he will see how far he can get with you. Guys are very shallow and transparent. Sex is all he wants. Once you turn down his advances, he will move on to the next girl. And try it on with her, hoping she will give him what he wants.
It is inexperienced girls with low self esteem that need to lower themselves to give guys they barely know a blow job and so much more to feel like they are of value. Not true. You do not EVER have to drop your standards for the approval of ANY guy. You should never be asked or feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. A guy who respects you and truly likes you will NEVER treat you like this guy is treating you. He would wait for sex when it felt right. And would never ask you for a hand job or your panties! HOW GROSS! He does not think much of you OP to do this! He is such a little kid who has no clue about women! Maybe in 10 years he might start getting a clue! Sex should happen naturally and organically. When you want to give a guy you care about a hand job, you will choose to do so without him demanding it from you!!!
Kick this sleazeball to the curb. Lesson learned. Don't be used or manipulated by sex hungry little boys! You are better than that!
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (12 April 2022):
Yeah, I totally agree with the others... This guy doesn't want a relationship, he just wants sex. Or he's just a guy who has an underwear fetish. He's probably got a whole drawer-full of ladies unders from previous conquests
If it's only been 2 weeks, throw this one back into the sea.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 April 2022):
 Give him back the t-shirt and tell him to go kick rocks.
The guy is the RED flag here, girl.
His whatsApp status is a manipulation tactic to get you to think you are doing something wrong.
He doesn't respect you AT all. He keeps pressuring you for favors, sexual ones even when you stated your boundaries. The guy is a creep. Asking for your panties is just eww.
Dump him and move on. HE wants sex, and he wants it now. This is not the kind of guy you want to date.
You have only known him for 2 weeks. Should be easy enough to dump and look for a better match.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2022): A lot of guys ask for their girlfriends panties as a memento. Nothing weird in that. At least I don't think so.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (12 April 2022):
 I think that you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that he just wants you for sexual favours and nothing more.
You have said that you are not interested in anything sexual, but still he persists, another clue that he is just after one thing.
Asking you for your underware is just weird, if i was you i would be comtemplating running for the hills.
To many red flags here, delete/block him and move on.
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