A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please, Please help! I met somebody about 4 to 5 months ago now. It was a long distance relationship but we have managed to see each other and have kept in touch regularly. We had a very strong connection, to the point where i would say that i have never felt so strongly about anybody before in my life. i can't stop thinking about him. he has also made it clear that he felt the same way and even suggested that i could move to be nearer to him, that he really wanted to make the relationship work, and that he would look after me etc...Then, out of the blue, he announced (via email!) that he was going travelling round the world for a year with his friends. He is now very distant with me, he emails me but he takes a long time to respond to my messages. How could he change his mind about me so quickly? Did he ever mean the things he said to me? And should i tell him how i feel about him, or just let him go without saying and just assume that he doesn't have the same feelings for me anymore?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 June 2007):
 Maybe he wants to see a bit of the world before settling down or it may be that he wants to test his feelings for you. The best thing to do is give him your consent and tell him you think it's a great idea! He may have thought things were moving a bit too fast and has taken a step back hence the reason he's being distant with you. This trip could have been on the horizon for months and he's not mentioned it to you because he still wasn't sure whether or not it was going ahead.
If you moan or show your disapproval about it he's still going to go anyway, you know that don't you? Best thing to do is to encourage him to go and have a wonderful time but to keep in touch with you. Doing that will take a lot of the pressure off him and it will certainly put both your feelings to the test to see just how much you DO care for one another.
Eve
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): Long distance relationships are never easy. While he may at one point have been sincere in wanting you to move to live nearer to him, it sounds to me as though his priorities have changed drastically.My suggestion would be to phone him - not text or email - ask how he is and wish him well for his travel plans -you might ask when he thinks he'll be leaving.If you can talk to him in a relaxed kind of manner, hopefully it will open him up to a conversation with you about what he is thinking.But I must warn you: try and be prepared to hear that he is now emotionally in a difference "place" (as he soon will be literally). I know this is not want you want to hear (IF it does turn out to be what has happened) but you'll really have no choice but to accept it, and move on with your own life........you are already somewhat prepared for this in any event.
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