A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband for 7 years he has 3 children 25,17,14 I have a 17 and 12 year old from a different relationship.His children have never liked my children or me ( loyalty to their mom)and it's been very difficult to build a bond from day one. Their mother passed in 2018 immediately after her burial, she kept her siblings away from the dad continuing the moms practices, she then hired a lawyer and wanted cs and custody of her siblings.He hired a lawyer and after 2 years of re bonding and counseling he was awarded his younger children then, allowed the children to return with the oldest ,she wanted dhe responsibility? I moved out and back home immediately after . It was tiresome ordeal , then he let them go back with the daughter. . After, the family court battle all was forgiven the three moved in with him for about 2 years and the oldest didn't have to work and she was given a car . because the kids are with her. The mothers home needed repairs is why they moved in with him. My husband never tried to repair our blended family. My two kids who called him dad from young now teens were brushed aside. He wants a relationship still today with me. Theres no consequences and his kids reign. He helps me when he's able monetarily it's nothing consistentat all every two months it's bait for me on a fishing pole. He still tip toes around his children. What do I do ? Move on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2024): He is doing the right thing.
You say you allowed your kids to call this man 'Dad'. That's wrong and you should never have encouraged that. He has his own kids and he has no choice but to prioritise them. Even the 25 yr old needs him and will do for a long time.
To be honest, you need to prioritise your own kids the way he is his. Make your children understand that this person is not their father and you are their one constant figure. Be with them and make them feel valued and loved so much that they don't notice your partners lack of attention.
Sorry but your actions and priorities here are muddled and you are wrong to make this man feel bad for putting his kids first. Just like you are your kids' one constant, he is their's and his kids are his one constant figure(s). His priorities are right, you need to mirror those priorities. If that means the end of your relationship then so be it but you are living in a dream world if you think you're all going to be one big happy family, especially any time soon.
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