A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my husband for 7 years he has 3 children 25,17,14 I have a 17 and 12 year old from a different relationship.His children have never liked my children or me ( loyalty to their mom)and it's been very difficult to build a bond from day one. Their mother passed in 2018 immediately after her burial, she kept her siblings away from the dad continuing the moms practices, she then hired a lawyer and wanted cs and custody of her siblings.He hired a lawyer and after 2 years of re bonding and counseling he was awarded his younger children then, allowed the children to return with the oldest ,she wanted dhe responsibility? I moved out and back home immediately after . It was tiresome ordeal , then he let them go back with the daughter. . After, the family court battle all was forgiven the three moved in with him for about 2 years and the oldest didn't have to work and she was given a car . because the kids are with her. The mothers home needed repairs is why they moved in with him. My husband never tried to repair our blended family. My two kids who called him dad from young now teens were brushed aside. He wants a relationship still today with me. Theres no consequences and his kids reign. He helps me when he's able monetarily it's nothing consistentat all every two months it's bait for me on a fishing pole. He still tip toes around his children. What do I do ? Move on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2024): It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, and I’m sorry to hear that. Blended families can be incredibly complicated, especially when there’s a history of grief and loyalty to a deceased parent involved. It’s understandable that you’re feeling brushed aside, especially after all the efforts you’ve made to bond with your husband and his children.
It might help to have an honest conversation with your husband about how you’re feeling. Share your concerns about the dynamic and how it affects you and your kids. If he truly wants a relationship with you, he needs to understand the impact of the current situation.
Consider seeking couples or family counseling, too. It can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and help navigate these complex family dynamics.
Ultimately, think about what you really want moving forward. If you feel like your needs aren’t being met after trying to communicate and set boundaries, it might be worth considering if this relationship is right for you. Take care of yourself and your kids, and prioritize your happiness as you figure out the best path forward.
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