A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help! I've been seeing my boyfriend for just over a month now and we've already moved in together. I know that seems quick but we really get along and it seems like we've been together for years. The relationship is great, we get along just fine and i'm happy most of the time in it. The only problem is finances. He spends all of his time moaning about never having any money, and I feel like hes blaming me for that. Thing is, he asked me to move in, and i accepted because he was the first decent guy i'd ever met and i really liked him and didnt want to leave once I was with him but i would have quite happily gone home had he have asked that. If he knew he was financially unable to support the two of us, then why did he ask me to move in?? I never ask him to buy me anything, I dont eat a lot and i dont use up that much electricity. So when he moans at it being me using up his money it makes me angry. Another thing about him is when he gets his pay check he wastes it on alcohol and drugs, instead of paying off important bills or getting enough food in. Which i have told him about but he still continues. Its all he talks about to his parents as well which makes me seem bad because they don't seem to like me and think i'm a free loader. The problem is in this current recession its almost impossible for anybody to get a job and I dont want that to seem like an excuse. I do try helping as much as i can, my dads been helping and giving me a bit of money and buying a bit of food for us. I always clean the house and try my best for him but nothings ever enough because he still worries none stop about money. He even moaned at my best friend for eating a tin of soup once. What can i do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 "If he knew he was financially unable to support the two of us, then why did he ask me to move in??"
I have 2 guesses:
1) He did not know he is unable to support the both of you; he is not good at math and finances.
2) He did now and wanted you to be his scrape goat, so he can spend all his money of booze and drugs, and blame you for not having any left over.
“What can i do??”
Move out, back to where you were before. Tell him when he gets his finances in order, he can ask you to move back in again, if he wants. Before you move back in again, sit down and agree on who is paying what.
If you stay living with him now, he will not change. He will continue to mismanage his money and blame you. I know you like him and you to get along well, and if these are more important to you then his lack of reasonability with money, you should stay with him. Just be prepared to keep getting angry when he moans at it being me using up his money.
Best of luck and I hope this helps.
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