A
female
age
30-35,
*ove_hurtz
writes:So there's this guy in my class. Since my school is so small, everyone is sort of aware of and at least to some degree friends with everyone else. Recently, though, this guy who I hadn't really been close to suddenly showed up on my radar. I flirted with him, and he flirted back, and I thought it was just for fun, since I had thought he had a girlfriend. But then, he kept mentioning his 'ex-girlfriend', so it seems they aren't together anymore. In any case, I'm trying to determine whether we're friends or more than friends. On the one hand, he's made plans with me to see movies just the two of us, and will stay in school after his friends have left for literally five hours just to play cards with me, and he teases me and doesn't really notice other girls when I'm around. Plus, he's always touching me in some way or making jokes about sexual things between us. Also, I thought it was weird that after a few weeks, he suddenly thought we were friends when we hadn't really spoken prior to the past month. I guess the other things would be that he seems to go out of his way to hang out with me, like he'll take the long way home to his bus, or walk with me to go buy something across the street, which he offers to pay for and always makes fun of me being so weak whenever we play fight. On the other hand, he usually takes forever to respond to texts, if at all. I don't really text that much, so I don't think it's me turning him off, but it just seems like before I started liking him back, it seemed like he was constantly calling and texting me, and I was the one who couldn't get back to him. Sometimes, he'll reply and ask me to call instead, because he 'can't explain via text'. But he also calls me names like, 'hombre' and 'bro' instead of anything like 'babe'. Plus, he's said a few times that he'll do something because he's such a 'good friend'. I just can't tell if he wants just to be friends or more than friends, because in person, he's seems so into me, and takes so much time hanging out with me, but outside of school, he's not always easy to get ahold of. I don't want to mess this up, by confusing it for something more than friendship, if it's not, but it does feel like there's something more...any ideas???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): I'd say he wants more than friendship but not a relationship. Did he ever take you out to the movies like he suggested? Does he hang out with you alone? Maybe he just likes the flirting but doesn't want it to go further.
A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (21 January 2012):
 I would definitely say that he's into you in a 'more than a friend' way. I can understand why you feel confused by his texts, but try not to read too much into them. The thing is that texts are very limited. You literally only get a few words off them. There's no body language or nothing to back up what they're saying so, as much as people like to analyze them, they give you very little information. There's no point over-thinking it.
I think the best thing for you to do would be to just tell him how you feel or at least try to progress things to see if there's a chance for you two. It's very difficult and probably not a very appealing idea but it's the only reliable way to find out how he feels. Just imagine if there was no such thing as texting, how sure would you be that he likes you? I'm pretty sure you'd feel more confident then.
Good luck.
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