A
female
age
26-29,
*nonymous2016
writes:In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he flirted with me and I thought every thing was going great I really liked him. Then he just stopped texting me it went on for a week and I just could take it no more and text him and asked if he was alive basically. He ignored me for another week I felt like crap this whole time. I then seen him in public we looked right at each other and he didnt say anything. i wanted to say so much but i just froze. I then text him later that day and told him how I felt and i was pretty rude but i was hurt. I have recently been reading things about guys that ignore you and i feel like an idiot for texting him and saying what i said, but even more because he is ignoring me. It just pisses me off because i didnt ask for any of this hurt im feeling and i felt like he was really into me from all the text and flirting and he kissed me. Im just tired of feeling like this. Can someone give me some advice please?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 I am happy to hear you are beginning to get better, you may have a few hiccups but that is okay as well as you will get through this.
A
female
reader, anonymous2016 +, writes (5 December 2016):
anonymous2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you aunt honesty, I am feeling better and better each day and just think now it was all a waste of time to even give him a chance. I thought I would never get over him but I pretty much have, now I'm just mad that I even fell for him or wasted my time on him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (5 December 2016):
You need to be more positive, already you are saying you will have trust issues. Honey we all get hurt, and it hurts the most the first time. But at least he did not waste any more off your time. Now completely block him and move on. Remember not everyone is going to treat you like this so stop worrying about trust issues. He is the one with the problems. It is all part of life and getting hurt by people is always going to happen we just learn to deal with it better as we get older.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2016):
 Next time just go slower. Keep the heavy flirting till AFTER you know him a BIT better. Easier to get to know a person if you try and keep the "overtly flirty" out of the equation at the start. (not that you did ANYTHING wrong, mind you)
And don't judge all future guys based on this ONE dumbass. No need to presume that ALL guys will treat you like crap because this guy did.
Some guy (and gals) like to play games. This guy? maybe he was one of those OR maybe he had a GF and she got suspicious. You never know and really it doesn't matter because there is NO excuse for how he treated you.
Lesson learned, right? If a guy seems almost pushy in getting to know you, and flirt etc. before he even KNOWS you he might not be entirely genuine, just in a hurry to either get in your pants or use you for entertainment purposes to stroke his ego.
And if a guy stops talking to you/texting/calling out of the blue - set a deadline (like a week) and if you don't hear from him, drop 1 (ONE) text - like "hey how are you?" something non-committal and he still doesn't respond? BLOCK and move on. Don't wait around for him to MAYBE talk back again. If a guy is interested he is NOT going to ignore you for a week or two or three...
Chin up, not all guys are bad apples. Better luck next time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous2016 +, writes (4 December 2016):
anonymous2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you janniepeg for your feedback. Like I said I really thought he was into me hes the one that went out of his way to talk to me and he even told me later on that was his first step. I wasnt looking for a realtionship in fact to be honest ive never been in one so this really hurts. I think i will have very bad trust issues from now on if a guy ever tries to talk to me again the thought that he might ignore me after things start going good will always be in the back of my head. I just dont know if dationg is worth all this hurt. And for a while I tried to figure out what I did wrong cause he was the one texting me it wasnt like I was chasing him or anything. I told him alot about myself that I wouldnt tell just anyone, thats why i dont see how things went wrong cause he seemed like a nice and caring guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous2016 +, writes (4 December 2016):
anonymous2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much honeypie I really needed to hear that. Its just aggravating to know i wasted a month and a half of my time and energy on him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2016):
Just block him and unfriend.
There is NO reason for him to treat you like this. And no I don't think you owe him an apology or anything else.
Why waste time, emotions and energy on people like that?
Telling him how you feel is OK. Just don't WASTE any more effort on him.
If someone makes you feel crappy like that, cut them lose.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 December 2016):
 I feel you, and I want to say that somehow he needs to know that flirting then disappearing is not good manners. On the other hand, the practical side of me wants to caution you that flirting and kissing can't mean much if it's not backed up by intention and consistent follow ups. It's like you can't be angry with him unless you have a spoken contract that clearly states what you are with each other. You should stop beating yourself up but be realistic that next time you have to shield yourself from time wasters until there's a strong emotional connection established. I won't apologize because he might read that as you wanting more contact from him. In a way he acted like an ass so he does not deserve any politeness from you. Expressing your feelings, although uninvited, let him know that messing with a girl can lead to a broken heart so next time he would have to act more discreet. He needs to know that kissing someone means something, not just fun and games even if he himself isn't really ready for dating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous2016 +, writes (4 December 2016):
anonymous2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wonder if i should apologize to him, because now im just mad at myself for saying all that. I feel like an idiot now because I told him how i felt about the way he did me. One minute I could care less if i ever see or talk to him again and the next i miss him and want to know what hes thinking.
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