A
male
age
36-40,
*igdave
writes:Dear CupidI just got back with the ex after two months apart... everything seems to be going really well. We're taking it slow and when were together it has been great, alot like old times, but when Im not with her im finding that I am worrying alot whether she is going to change her mind and break it off again. She was the one that broke up with me after a year and a half.Im not showing this to her and you would never be able to tell that Im anxious when we meet up. But she iniated the make-up and I dont know why Im feeling like this.What I want to know from other people who have made up with someone after a break is are these feelings normal (there obviously to do with trust)and has anyone got any tips of repressing these feelings?? Im scared they are going to get in the way of something that could be great again.Many ThanksDave
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): dear dave, I'm going through the exact same situation as you are. my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me for reasons that had everything to do with himself and nothing to do with me. and after spending two months apart he wanted me back and i gave him another chance. when we spend time together it feels like old times but i still get anxious because i dont trust that he wont leave again. i suppose thats what you have to do now, not repress your feelings. admitt to yourself that you are afraid to trust her, and that your feelings are justified. this girl hurt you,and as much as forgiveness is a beautiful thing it wont heal your trust issues overnight. my boyfriend and i have agreed to treat each other as new people, because breakups change people. there are things about him that i have to learn and relearn now, and i cant automatically go back into the relationship feeling the same amount of trust. we have to gradually rebuild it again. you should talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you are feeling, because if anyone needs to make an effort here its her. she needs to be the one to show you that she is not leaving again. until she can prove that to you, its understandable to feel anxious and untrusting, you need to make sure shes worthy of having your heart before you give it away again. good luck and feel free to message me if you need to talk/vent/whatever.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 I think that SHE is the one who should be trying hard to disperse these feelings for you and you should discuss this issue with her! I would probably feel the same way as you are feeling, and I suspect this is how Most people would feel in your shoes. You probably need the answers to a few questions that have been plaguing you and some reassurance from her after she left you. I would want some answers!!! Keeping yourself in the dark is feeding your anxiety. I doubt that if she initiated getting back together, asking a few questions would jeopardize everything all over again. If I were in Her shoes, I would probably be Expecting to explain my actions as well, come to think of it!!! Repressing things generally isn't a good idea, things have a way of popping up and biting you in the butt, so Clear The Air and settle your worries!!! Good Luck and I hope that her answers solve your worries for you! XXX
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